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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630076">if music could talk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>eddie meets a stranger at a bar, and they end up becoming a lot closer than expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chris Cornell/Eddie Vedder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. (say) you wanna please me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>eddie grimaced as he got tossed and shoved around the floor of the club. possibly hundreds of sweaty, handsy bodies bumped against him and it only grossed him out more. he retreated to the bar of the club, hoping a cold drink would break him out of his daze.</p><p>he ordered a random drink off the menu that didn’t sound too fancy, although when a bright blue slushee-looking drink landed in front of him, he knew he was bound to be wasted soon enough. a horribly cheesy tiny umbrella hung in the corner of his drink and eddie grimaced, pulled the umbrella out, and tossed it on the bar. he took a sip, his face contorting at the amount of vodka in it. </p><p>a stranger beside him scoffed as eddie took a sip from the thick straw. eddie looked up almost embarrassed, although he wasn’t really sure why. the stranger was breathtaking needless to say, his unruly mane of dark curls framed his practically model level of perfect face. his nose was thin and sloped, and it led to a set of full lips that eddie spent far too long looking at. </p><p>“y’know that shit’s pure vodka and food dye, right?” eddie choked on the drink that was turning stagnant and warm in his mouth. he finally swallowed it down and immediately regretted letting it linger on his tongue for so long. eddie’s eyes snapped up from the stranger’s thick leather jacket <em> how was he not sweating his ass off in that?</em></p><p>their eyes met and eddie still hadn’t formed a sentence. “i’m chris,” the man spoke, holding out a slender hand. “i’m eddie.” eddie hesitated but shook his hand, it was slightly cold and eddie worried for a moment if maybe his own hands were clammy. the other man let go abruptly and eddie’s hand dropped to his side. chris peered at eddie over the rim of his glass as he sipped at the cheap whiskey in it. eddie grimaced at the thought, who the hell enjoys drinking whiskey? it always burnt going down and made eddie more sleepy than anything.</p><p>eddie didn’t realize he’d zoned out watching chris’ thick lips wrap around the cold glass until chris was desperately attempting to snap him out of his thoughts. “sorry, w- what?” eddie asked chris to repeat and the man sighed but leaned it to say it again anyways. chris’ lips brushed against eddie’s ear and he shivered, although he wasn’t sure if it was from the cold drink or the new stranger. </p><p>“wanna go outside so we can hear each other a little better?” eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, the man’s voice was much higher than he was expecting for his intimidating presence. eddie sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded, placed his weird blue drink on the countertop of the bar, and let chris lead him outside by his hand. </p><p>they ended up in a different entrance than eddie remembered, this one leading out to a dark alleyway rather than a bright bustling seattle street. eddie froze for a moment, and it suddenly kicked in that he was in the dark with an unknown person. eddie considered removing chris’ hand from his and going back into the club, away from this man, but something in him told him not to.</p><p>chris leaned up against the wall of the club, standing so he faced eddie. eddie did the same, and only then did he seriously notice the height difference between the two. chris practically towered over him by what seemed like at least half a foot. eddie felt his face burn up, the moonlight made chris’ stunning features even more visible. </p><p>chris smirked and tucked a piece of hair behind eddie’s ear, knowing full well what effect he had on the smaller man. eddie plucked at a loose string on his jeans absentmindedly, still making eye contact with chris. “so, you work anywhere?” chris decided to just make small talk in hopes to make eddie break out of his nervous shell a little. eddie gave a small smile, “well, not right now, no. i’m a singer though, just looking for a band who might need one.” chris smiled back, “i’m a singer too, for soundgarden. i know a few guys who are looking for a new singer right now if you want me to introduce you.” “jesus christ, soundgarden’s incredible you’ve really got some lungs.” eddie joked and chris chuckled. “and yeah, i’d really appreciate if you’d set me up, i’ve got a tape or two if they wanna hear some of my stuff.”</p><p>the conversation faded out after a few minutes but neither seemed to mind it. chris’ hand cupped eddie’s cheek and he stood a little closer than before. “you’re real pretty, you know that?” chris’ words were barely audible, but they affected eddie all the same. eddie followed his gut instinct and leaned in closer just as chris had, letting his fingers lightly tug at the ends of chris’ thick mane. </p><p>abruptly, chris connected their lips. eddie melted into the touch, chris’ lips were borderline addictive. he tasted like whiskey and cigarettes, but eddie didn’t mind in the slightest. hell, maybe it was even <em> intoxicating </em> to taste him. the kiss sped up quickly and chris softly pushed eddie against the wall, pinning him beneath him. sure it was all going a little fast, but eddie was more than willing. </p><p>eddie reveled in the feeling of chris’ soft, clean shaven face against his. a moan slipped out as chris pressed himself against eddie a little more. eddie slipped his tongue into the kiss, running it through chris’ mouth like he’d been anticipating the kiss for weeks. </p><p>chris’ hand traveled lower to eddie’s inner thigh and the kiss separated for a moment. “is it alright if i…” chris spoke softly but eddie nodded before he could finish his question. their lips collided and chris’ hand rubbed over the growing bulge in eddie’s jeans. eddie gasped into the kiss and his hips bucked up involuntarily, chris’ hand on the top of his jeans felt tremendously better than any blowjob he’d ever had. chris moaned as eddie sucked on his lower lip and trailed his hand up to grip the taller man’s shoulder. </p><p>chris’ hand moved away from eddie’s hard-on and to the zipper of his jeans, unzipping them deftly. eddie’s eyes widened as chris lowered onto his knees in front of him, tugging eddie’s boxers down with him. the cold air hit him, but eddie was too focused on the soft kisses chris was planting on his thighs. chris’ kisses turned to sucks and bites, and eventually eddie was squirming in impatience.</p><p>chris finally wrapped his hand around eddie’s dick, softly running his hand up and down the shaft. eddie’s knees nearly buckled when chris’ tongue ran along his underside and over the tip. eddie panted and softly groaned chris’ name. </p><p>chris’ lips finally wrapped around him fully, his wet mouth sliding along his length with ease. eddie moaned loudly, his voice echoing off the brick walls of the alleyway, incredibly grateful it was late and no one had walked by. eddie looked down at chris, watching his hard member slip in and out of between his lips like it was nothing. chris caught his gaze, the pair making eye contact which only made eddie’s face flush redder. </p><p>eddie’s member went down the back of chris’ throat easily, the taller man not even sputtering at the action. eddie’s hips stuttered as chris moaned, finally spilling into his mouth. eddie’s body shook as chris swallowed and licked him clean before standing back up. </p><p>chris held a sly smirk at the pure content on eddie’s face. he promptly kissed eddie again, their tongues intertwined like before. they separated, a line of spit between them but chris wiped his mouth off with the back of his sleeve. </p><p>eddie zipped his jeans up shakily, his hot breath forming small clouds of steam in the cold air as he attempted to steady himself. chris dug into the pocket of his leather jacket, only to pull away empty handed. eddie watched as the man confusedly patted around his jeans and jacket, and then turned to him with a slight pout.</p><p>“can i have a cigarette please?” chris asked softly. eddie’s eyes were glued to chris’ red, swollen lips that protruded slightly from his pale face.. eddie pulled the pack out of his jeans, they were crumpled and nearly bent from chris pulling them down, but eddie handed chris one nonetheless. </p><p>the taller man placed it between his lips and leaned in to the lighter eddie held out. the smoke billowed from his lips and into the air. chris looked over to eddie, “you’re awfully quiet.” eddie smiled slightly, “give me a break man, it’s my first week here.” chris chuckled and leaned closer to eddie, “well, where’d you move here from?” “san diego.” chris nodded slightly and sucked at the cigarette, “explains why you’re so tan.” </p><p>eddie grinned and reached out to run his hands through chris’ curls again, christ he’d only just met this man but he already had developed a limerence for him. chris had no intentions of leaving anytime soon anyways. </p><p>“I’m thirsty.” chris stomped out his cigarette with the toe of his boot. eddie raised an eyebrow, “...do you want to go back inside?” chris shook his head and gave eddie a pout. “can we get slurpees?” eddie giggled, he’d never be able to say no to that pout. eddie nodded and began to walk down the alleyway, chris quickly catching up with him.</p><p>he intertwined their fingers as they walked, and eddie felt that same familiar warmth he did when they kissed. chris swung their hands slightly as they walked out onto the drim streets and towards eddie’s car. </p><p>eddie opened chris’ door for him and he slid into the passenger seat. eddie got in the drivers and started the car. “what’s the huge trunk for? do you surf or something?” chris giggled in that childlike way that made eddie melt into his seat. “used to, but the oceans here aren’t exactly the most welcoming.” chris chuckled as he directed eddie towards the 7/11. </p><p>chris tugged eddie’s hand into the brightly lit store, looking around like a little kid in a candy shop. chris grabbed a giant cup and filled it to the brim with the sugary slush. “you wanna share?” chris spoke, a sweet tone to his usually enticing voice. eddie nodded and watched amusedly as chris sauntered through the aisles of the store, sipping from the drink and running his hands over the bags of junk food. </p><p>eddie fished his wallet out of his pocket as they approached the register, slapping a few bills on the counter and not even bothering to retrieve his change. chris giggled and intertwined their hands again, “what’re you, rich? you just lost like $15 in change.” chris chuckled and eddie’s eyes widened a little. he considered going back inside for it, but they were already in the car; it would just be embarrassing at this point. </p><p>chris pushed a cd into the stereo as eddie drove out of the parking lot, sandinista! by the clash beginning. eddie giggled as chris shimmied in his seat. he kicked his feet around and sipped his slurpee as he danced. he handed the drink off to eddie and the driver took a sip. </p><p>“c’mon, groove a little ed!” chris joked and eddie laughed, those words sounded so foreign coming from his mouth. “I gotta figure out where the hell we’re going first,” eddie spoke as he turned down another street aimlessly. “dollface, as much fun as i’ve had, i think it’d be best if i headed home.” chris spoke and it was eddie’s turn to pout. chris giggled and directed eddie towards his apartment.</p><p>eddie’s car slid to a stop and he looked over at chris expectantly. the other man smirked softly and ran a hand through his own curls. “i don’t wanna go just yet,” chris said with a whiny hint to his voice. eddie placed the cup down in the center console and leaned over, their lips connecting. chris deepened it almost immediately, basking in the soft grin that tugged at eddie’s lips as they kissed. “you taste sweet,” eddie mumbled into the kiss and chris smirked shyly. </p><p>they separated and chris returned to dancing in his seat, drink in hand. eddie finally joined in, the pair laughing loudly and rocking to the music. the song faded out and chris’ dancing ceased. he leaned in yet again and frenched eddie like his life depended on it. eddie reveled in the feeling and wished he could make the moment last longer. </p><p>“bye eddie,” the singer spoke and placed a final peck on eddie’s lips. eddie watched chris saunter up the steps of the courtyard to his apartment, leaving eddie with the sweet taste lingering on his tongue.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. who needs actions when you've got words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>eddie groaned as he sunk back into his couch. it’d been two days since he saw chris, and he couldn’t for the life of him remember how he was supposed to contact him. he considered driving back to chris’ apartment, but he had no remembrance of where that was either.</p><p>eddie sighed, he’d only been here a week, and had no one to ask if they knew chris. eddie locked up his apartment, heading down the seeming endless set of stairs and down onto the street.</p><p>the weather from a few days ago had worsened now, nothing but rain clouds hung over the dim sky. a hard gust of wind blew by and eddie clung to himself tighter. his jacket was far too thin for the current weather, but it was the only one he had for now. </p><p>his eyes caught on a small coffee shop that seemed warm, and he quickly walked in.</p><p>eddie sighed quietly as he entered the warmth, his body tensing at the sudden change in temperature. his eyes scanned over the menu and he didn’t recognize a thing, so he instead ordered a black coffee, and sat down in front of the window of the cafe. </p><p>rain begun to pour down outside, people bustled by with umbrellas and thick coats, and cars skipped down the street, kicking up puddles of rain water that had already begun to form. it seemed like something out of a movie, and eddie chuckled to himself at the thought of a movie about the people of seattle. hell, that’d <em> never </em> happen.</p><p>he took a sip from his drink and his eyes wandered around the cafe before finally landing on a wall of flyers. tons of random bands scattered the walls, a certain one in particular caught eddie’s eye. the word ‘soundgarden’ was printed across it, along with a date and a club’s location. </p><p>the thought of maybe seeing chris made his heart flutter. eddie cringed at himself, he barely knew this man and he already had some unhealthy fondness towards him. eddie let the coffee sit in his mouth for a moment before swallowing it, and a thought crossed his mind. </p><p>maybe chris didn’t want to see him at all. maybe it was just intended to be a weird one-night thing and they’d never have to speak again. eddie hated the thought of it, but there must’ve been a reason chris left no way to contact him. although, who would let a stranger they had no intention of ever speaking to again drive them home?</p><p>eddie tossed his paper coffee cup in the recycling bin and returned out to the street. his head was down to avoid the rain, and his hands were shoved in his pockets to keep warm. </p><p>eddie’s eyebrows furrowed as his hands landed on something in his pocket. eddie pulled it out as he continued walking, glancing up often to make sure he wouldn’t run into anything. </p><p>he unfolded the paper and nearly his whole face turned red. written on it in scratchy pen, “<em>  206-389-4820 call me :) -chris </em>” eddie felt guilty for not finding the note till now, but hurried to get home to his phone anyways.</p><p>he held the paper out in front of him as he dialed it in, hesitating to finally call. eddie took in a deep breath, it was nearing five pm, surely chris was home. </p><p>the phone rang for a few moments before picking up, “hello?” the person on the other end asked, and eddie froze. that voice sure as hell wasn’t chris’. “y-yeah is chris there?” the voice went quiet before a faint voice yelled “chris, there’s someone calling for you!” whoever was on the other line repeated chris’ name a few times. eddie grinned slightly as he heard chris respond back, “fuckin’ hold on! i was in the shower; did you just want me to walk over butt naked?” </p><p>the other person laughed slightly and returned to the phone, “alright, he’s coming.” eddie let out a small “okay” and waited patiently. voices mumbled something before the handset was finally picked up.</p><p>“hey it’s chris.” eddie paused, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. “it’s eddie, the guy from the bar.” chris chuckled through the phone, “i know who you are, dummy. what took you so long to call?” “couldn’t find your number,” eddie said as he leaned back against the wall of his hallway. chris sarcastically laughed, “damn and here i was thinking i left it in too obvious of a spot.” </p><p>eddie smirked and rolled his eyes, “whatever dork.” the other man grinned, it was nice to see eddie talking more and less awkward. “so, what’d you call for? trying to get me to blow you in an alleyway again?” eddie choked in shock and sputtered for a moment, his embarrassment only piling up when chris started laughing loudly.</p><p>“don’t say it like that, you make it sound like i forced you,” he joked and chris bit back a laugh. “believe me it was on my free will.” eddie smiled against the phone and looked around the hallway before sitting down on the floor, the cord to the phone straining to stretch down with him. </p><p>“okay seriously, i wanna take you to dinner,” eddie’s words were shakier than he meant them to be, but chris didn’t seem to notice. “alright, maybe. i’ll have to check my calendar; i do have a very busy schedule.” eddie paused for a moment before realizing chris was joking. </p><p>“how’s friday night?” eddie asked and waited for chris’ response. “well i’ve got a show. how ‘bout you come see us play and we can grab a drink after?” eddie grinned, chris just made his job of searching for a decent restaurant a whole lot easier. </p><p>“okay, sounds good.” chris nodded and pulled the towel around his waist a little tighter, “mmkay, 9pm at the o.k. hotel. doors open at 8 though, but if you walk up to the back entrance there’ll likely be no security. just walk in, i’ll see you there.” chris spoke softly and eddie agreed easily. </p><p>“see ya then shortstack.” chris said and eddie said his goodbye as well before hanging up. eddie smiled and stood up from his spot on the floor. it was only monday, but damn he couldn’t wait for the week to go by.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. can i get a little lovin' from you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>friday finally rolled around after a painfully slow week. eddie had scored a job at easy street records, but they had him restocking shelves so he was exhausted by the end of the day. </p><p>eddie had to ask around for the location since he’d barely explored seattle so far. but here he was, sitting in his car of the parking lot at the venue. he was hesitant to say the least, of course he wanted to go inside and see soundgarden, but the drinks after was what had him nervous. </p><p>eddie took a deep breath and left his car, slamming the door shut, locking it, and walking off to the backstage area.</p><p>a tall security guard stood at the back door and eddie froze, unsure of what to do. a large van was in the parking lot and eddie knew it was soundgardens, and that he was at the right spot, but the security threw him off.</p><p>“hi i’m uh… i got invited by chris? lead singer of the band that’s playing tonight?” the security guard scoffed, letting out a typical response that eddie had seen even in movies, “you think you’re the first fan to tell me that? nice try, go wait out front like everybody else.” eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, he couldn’t even give this guy shit because he knew he would’ve said the same thing in his position. </p><p>the door to go inside was open and eddie could see down the hall that the guard stood in front of. a familiar tall, curly haired man walked past, and glanced down the hallway. he continued walking for a moment but then registered who it was standing at the door. </p><p>“bar boyyy!” chris spoke, lightly jogging down the hall with a big smile. eddie fought back a smirk at the shocked look on the guard’s face as chris walked past him to embrace eddie. </p><p>eddie’s face melted into a sickeningly sweet smile as chris hugged him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man so tight his feet lifted off the ground. chris backed off an kissed eddie’s cheek before leading him past the guard and into the backstage area.</p><p>his hand rested on eddie’s lower back as they walked into a large room filled with people and instruments. eddie seemed to slip back into his shell at the crowd of people that filled the room. some of them sat and talked, others playing instruments, and even more rushing by with equipment. </p><p>chris tugged eddie towards another smaller room, this one filled with even less than half the amount of people. “hey guys, this is eddie,” chris spoke and the guitarists strumming came to a halt. </p><p>chris introduced them one by one, “this is kim.” the man holding the guitar smiled slightly and eddie smiled back. he was fairly tall, seemingly just a few inches below chris. he had a long dark beard, and his hair was pulled back into a ponytail. </p><p>next up was the drummer, matt. he smiled and waved as chris told eddie of his name. eddie thought he seemed nice, the only one out of the group that seemed to really stick out was the bassist. he was quiet, sitting in the corner playing over the same riff, not looking up once.</p><p>chris leaned over to eddie, “he’s kind of quiet, he just joined a month ago.” eddie nodded and chris finally said his name, “that’s ben, our bass player.” the moppy head of curls looked up, revealing a pale-faced man. eddie smiled and ben looked back down at his guitar.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie was pushed and tossed around in the crowd similar to a few nights ago, but this time he had zero complaints. </p><p>chris was in front of him on stage, belting out notes higher than eddie had ever heard. the bass from ben’s amp shook and vibrated the floors of the venue. the heavy hit of the bass drum from matt’s kit shot adrenaline through eddie’s body with every beat, it’s playing perfectly timed with the mind-melting riff from kim’s guitar.</p><p>eddie’s eyes were unsurprisingly glued to the vocalist, watching the hypnotic way his hips pushed and rocked to the music. the song faded out and chris pushed his mop of wet curls away from his face. he placed the mic back on the stand and took a step back, peeling off his sweat-soaked tank top. </p><p>his eye’s locked with eddie’s and he shot the smaller man a wink before tossing his shirt off to the side of the stage. eddie’s breath caught in his throat as he watched the beads of sweat wriggle their way down chris’ toned chest.</p><p>eddie attempted to rip his eyes away from him, but the way chris’ lips wrapped around the mouth of his water bottle had him ready to faint. his adams apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed the liquid, some of it dribbling down his chin. </p><p>eddie finally tore his eyes away as chris began to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘sub pop rock city’ began and eddie’s lips curled into a smile as chris grunted. chris stomped around as the song’s intro continued. </p><p>fans began to clamber onto the wooden stage on all fours, just to spin around and dive back in. a girl walked up to chris and tried wrapping her arms around him, but the singer turned her around and shoved her back off into the crowd before she had the chance. eddie laughed at the interaction as the poor defeated-looking girl fumbled back into the sea of fans. </p><p>eddie joined in on the dancing, grooving and bopping along with everyone else. he made eye contact with chris a few times, making the other man smile as he sang.</p><p>the song eventually faded out and the band called it a night, unplugging their gear and filing off the stage.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris had convinced eddie that the walk to the bar was short, so they chose to walk. the night was clearer than the day had been, and a majority of the rain clouds cleared. all that was left was the bright moon and constellations filling the night sky. </p><p>they sauntered down the street of a normal suburban neighborhood, a few blocks off from the main part of the city. eddie’s hand was laced with chris’, both of them shoved in the warm pocket of chris’ jacket. </p><p>they clung tight to each other as eddie rambled on and on about how great the concert was. chris’ face was a light shade of red from all the compliments, which was a rare occurrence.</p><p>chris paused as they walked past a large house, people scattered across the lawn, music from the inside pouring out onto the streets. chris glanced over at eddie with a smirk and the smaller man raised an eyebrow, already knowing what he was thinking.</p><p>“chris, no, we really shouldn’t-“ eddie spoke but the other singer giggled and tugged them towards the house. eddie opened his mouth to protest against the idea again, “c’mon, what about drinks?” eddie sounded anxious, he wasn’t a fan of parties. </p><p>chris paused as they stood in front of the house, untangling their hands so he could cup eddie’s face. he pressed his lips to eddie’s and deepened the kiss, eddie already forgetting any preconceived notions he had of the party. </p><p>chris mumbled against eddie’s lips, “they’ll have drinks inside.”  eddie chuckled as chris slapped his ass before they walked in.</p><p>the house was filled to the brim with people, and it was obvious the party had just begun. ‘hungry and hanging’ by skin yard blared achingly loud, to the point where eddie was sure he’d leave with tinnitus.</p><p>chris tugged the singer through the throng of people and in a general direction till they found the kitchen. the counters were covered with bottles of booze, most empty. he poured he and eddie plastic cups full of rum and coke, handed eddie one, and then took a long swig of his own.</p><p>eddie took a drink from the cup as chris tugged them to the makeshift dance floor in the living room. chris wrapped his arm around eddie’s waist, keeping the other free to hold his drink. </p><p>eddie bit his bottom lip between his teeth, having already downed the rest of his drink. a warm buzzing feeling settled in his chest as he danced with the taller man, his head was still unsure whether it was the booze or the brunette rocking against him. </p><p>eddie giggled softly and leaned into chris, and wrapped his arms around his neck. this was his first chance to get a close look at chris’ face since they met the previous week, and he still took his breath away all the same. chris seemed almost ethereal under the blacklights of the party, his light turquoise eyes glimmering as he looked down at eddie. eddie’s face turned hot at the look on chris’ face, his eyes trailing down to the pair of lips that were wrapped around him almost a week ago now. chris whimpered a little as eddie leaned down, and began to kiss and suck on his neck. </p><p>chris turned eddie around so his back was against his chest. he took a long sip of his drink till the cup was empty and wrapped his arms around eddies hips. he smirked as eddie began to rock against him, pushing his ass back a little harder after a minute or two. a small gasp left eddie’s lips, but it was drowned out by the music.</p><p>the two were luckily paid no attention since the house was dark and crowded. eddie’s lips parted, his jeans tightening as chris brushed his hair away from his neck and began to suck on the tender skin.</p><p>suddenly a hand hardly tapped on chris’ shoulder, breaking him out of his daze.</p><p>a short, blonde, long-haired man stood before them, his eyebrows furrowed. “hey man, do i know you?” the person asked, looking at chris as if he’d seen him before. chris paused and pulled away from eddie, his arm around eddie’s shoulders. the smaller man looked embarrassed almost, but the blonde wasn’t sure about what exactly.</p><p>chris spoke nonchalantly, “no, i don’t think so.” the blonde laughed, “that’s what i thought, get the hell out. go find some other party to crash.” chris’ eyes widened before he broke into a fit of laughter. “don’t be so stiff, we aren’t causing any trouble.” the blonde glared at him and stepped closer to chris in an attempt to intimidate him which failed horribly since he must’ve been even shorter than eddie. </p><p>chris laughed in defeat and raised his hands, speeding off with eddie. he grabbed a bottle of rum as they jogged out, ignoring the yells of the person who confronted them, presumably the host, for stealing the liquor.</p><p>they ended up at the end of the street by the time they stopped jogging, both of them wheezing in fits of laughter. </p><p>“oh my god chris, he looked like he wanted to murder you!” eddie laughed and chris held up the alcohol in victory. “i mean for fucks sake we’d only been there like fifteen minutes! too bad, we were having such a good time,” chris quirked an eyebrow at the last line and grabbed a handful of eddie’s ass, making the singer squeal with a laugh. </p><p>they sauntered down the street, chris still taking slow sips out of the bottle. he handed it to eddie who took a chug. “jeez, are you trying to get drunk?” chris joked, he could already tell eddie wasn’t great at holding his alcohol. </p><p>eddie shook his head with a playful grin, he was already buzzed and his balance was quickly getting worse. chris just laughed and shook his head. </p><p>he led them back to eddie’s car, the smaller singer had drank nearly the whole bottle by the time they got there. eddie was slurring and digging through the pack of cigarettes in his pocket, giggling at all the bent ones that had been crushed from eddie’s constant forgetfulness. </p><p>he patted the smaller man’s pockets for his keys, making eddie laugh loudly as if he was being tickled. chris slid eddie into the front seat and put his seatbelt on him before walking around to the drivers side. chris was sober enough to drive so he hopped in and pulled on his own seatbelt. </p><p>they only made it about two minutes full of eddie slurring and chris giggling at his nonsense comments before eddie gave chris an all too familiar look. chris raised an eyebrow as the other man’s hand landed on his upper thigh. </p><p>chris laughed as eddie’s hand creeped up his thigh. he picked it up and laced their fingers together, “slow down there sweetheart, you’re drunk.” eddie gave him the most convincing pout he’d ever had in his whole life. chris chuckled, “maybe later, when you’re sober.”</p><p>eddie groaned, “when’s later? later could be like… right now, now is later.” chris laughed and ignored the comment, “which direction is your apartment?” eddie gave chris gibberish directions before they finally pulled up to a large apartment building. </p><p>eddie leaned on him as they walked up to his apartment. chris unlocked the front door and looked around as they walked in. </p><p>the apartment was small and semi run-down, but not bad for what eddie was paying. especially considering it was practically impossible to live in seattle without any roommates. some posters littered the walls, but other than that it was fairly bare. </p><p>chris walked them back to the bedroom and placed eddie down on the bed. eddie sluggishly shrugged off his jacket, tossing it across the room. chris was surprised eddie even took off his own boots, usually when taking care of drunk friends he’d have to help them.</p><p>eddie laid down in the bed, tugging the covers up to his shoulders. chris moved to say his goodnights and walk home, but eddie stopped him.</p><p>“can you stay? jus’ for a little,” eddie pouted and chris smiled to himself. </p><p>he sat down beside eddie, looking down at him endearingly. chris ran his hand through eddie’s tangled curls that perfectly framed his face. his eyes looked over eddie’s perfect features, his slightly turned-up nose that stood right above his almost doll-like lips. the image of that sweet way eddie’s lips curled when he laughed or smiled flickered through chris’ mind, and a subtle smile crossed his own face. </p><p>eddie’s long lashes eventually fluttered shut and chris leaned in, pressing a short kiss to his cheekbone, and backed away. “goodnight ed,” he spoke, but the other man tugged him in tight before he could walk away.</p><p>“mph, i don’t want you to leave,” eddie spoke, keeping his arms wrapped around chris. chris giggled, he was awkwardly hunched over in an unnatural position. “i have to, but i’m sure i’ll see you in a few days.” eddie pouted when chris pulled away, his eyes heavy-lidded and barely open to look at the taller man. </p><p>“a few days is too long,” eddie chewed at his bottom lip but broke into a smile when chris finally gave in. </p><p>the man climbed in beside him, slipping his boots off as he did so. eddie wrapped a tight arm around him and quickly drifted off. chris succumbed to sleep shortly after too, even though he’d promised himself he wouldn’t stay the night.</p><p>although, eddie couldn’t fight the disappointment when he woke up the next morning and the spot beside him was empty.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>just realized i had this posted for like an hour with my idea for the plot line still at the beginning of the chapter my bad to whoever saw it then LMFAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. suck my kiss, cut me my share</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris chopped another potato and slid it into a bin which would later be shoved into an overfilled freezer. the glamorous rock lifestyle wasn’t exactly what it had been chalked up to be. soundgarden was making just enough profit for chris to keep his own place and keep it furnished, so working as a chef part time covered the grocery bills and extra expenses.</p><p>it wasn’t terrible, just a normal nine to five job he worked on some weekdays, and occasionally sunday if he needed the cash. the restaurant he worked at was a hole in the wall, the type to serve frozen burgers that’d been sitting in the freezer since 1985. </p><p>it was tuesday now, and chris was just thirty minutes away from ending his shift. he clocked out early since the restaurant was completely dead, went out to his car, and drove home. </p><p>the answering machine spoke as chris shrugged off his jacket, tossing it on the couch. “h-hey its eddie, i was wondering if you wanted to go to a show at the off ramp cafe with me tonight. call me back when you can. by-“ chris rushed over to the phone, picking it up before eddie finished his voicemail. </p><p>“hey angel,” chris spoke with a slight giggle. he could hear eddie’s shock that chris had picked up so quickly. eddie scratched his head absentmindedly, “hi.” chris smiled, “so, about that show; who’s playing?” </p><p>eddie dug out the flyer from his pocket as if he’d forgotten, although he’d just seen the flyer a few minutes ago. “alice in chains.” chris laughed, “oh sweet, i’m friends with the guys from that band if you wanna meet ‘em.” eddie nearly forgot that he was supposed to be getting to know people in the music scene since he wanted to get involved.</p><p>“yeah, that sounds great. so i’ll come pick you up at seven?” eddie bit back a smile at the sound of chris’ laugh through the phone. “y’know i’ve got a car too, i can drive us there.” eddie raised an eyebrow, “oh really? i don’t know chris something tells me you’ve got a janky rundown car.” chris let out a loud gasp at eddie’s teasing, “i’ll have you know, i own a top-of-the-line 1974 international scout. painted blue and everything, she’s really a beauty.” eddie laughed loudly, “christ that cars almost as old as me.” chris rolled his eyes and scoffed, “alright, alright. see you at 7:30- you better be pulling up in a damn porsche.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris’ hand rested on eddie’s lower back as he softly nudged him forwards, towards the group of musicians. eddie wasn’t hesitant, more so just a little nervous. alice in chains had just released a huge album, and they’d quickly gained a cult following in seattle. </p><p>a tall blonde man with dreads and overalls held his hand out, a sweet smile on his face. eddie took it with ease and the other man introduced himself. “i’m layne, nice to meet you!” eddie smiled and stated his own name. </p><p>layne asked eddie a few questions about his previous bands and whatever, just polite small talk to make eddie feel a little more comfortable. he was introduced to jerry after,  who couldn’t talk long since the opener for the show had asked him to come fill in for their guitarist. </p><p>next up was their drummer, a goofy guy with the biggest nose ring eddie’d ever seen. he shot eddie a small smile as chris introduced them, greeting chris as well. finally was mike starr, their bassist. </p><p>they weren’t backstage long since the band members were fairly busy, so chris walked them back to the front of the venue by the stage. the crowd wasn’t too full just yet since whoever was opening wasn’t up for another fifteen. </p><p>the venue was nice, dimly lit and surprisingly not as body odor-scented as a lot of places chris had played at. the mob of people pushed up against the stage impatiently were clearly bored from sitting there for ages, just listening to whatever music the owner had put on for while they waited.</p><p>“should we go get a beer?” chris spoke loudly, over the buzz of the people in the crowd talking. eddie laughed, “is your plan every time we meet to just get drunk, fool around in public, and then leave me with a boner?” </p><p>chris’ eyebrows raised in shock, “i’m sorry mister, were you unsatisfied from that party the other night?” eddie’s face went red, “maybe a little.” the other man bit back a laugh at how immediately embarrassed eddie was. he stepped closer to eddie, his arms wrapping around his hips and his lips right against his ear so he could hear him.</p><p>“well maybe we should go back to my place after so i can take care of that.” eddie’s eyebrows furrowed with the thought of having to sit through this nearly two hour show. a small pout crossed his lips as chris separated from him.</p><p>“what, you don’t like that idea?” eddie sputtered, “no that’s- i didn’t- yeah of course i want to its just… this concerts going to be kinda long won’t it?” “well… we already paid for the tickets to this show, and the bathroom here isn’t exactly the cleanest.” chris shrugged nonchalantly and eddie choked at the thought of having to screw in the same stall people have likely puked in. </p><p>“oh my god don’t look at me like that it’s just a few hours,” chris laughed and leaned in to eddie, pressing his lips against the other mans. eddie pressed hard into the kiss, as if he was trying to convince chris into going home before the show had even started. </p><p>the opening band had walked onto stage without them even noticing. eddie was too focused on chris’ tongue against his to even pay attention, before something hard landed against the back of chris’ head. </p><p>“get a room!” the pair separated and broke into laughter, chris promptly flipping off the perpetrator as if he hadn’t done anything wrong himself. “christ that’s like the second person that’s said that to us,” chris turned to face eddie and the smaller man covered his mouth as he laughed. </p><p>the lights of the venue clicked off, and the ones facing the stage turned on. the opening band walked out and the crowd erupted into cheers and screams, the concert had finally begun.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>people flooded out of the venue and into the parking lot, some to their cars and other out on the street. chris and eddie walked out along with the crowd, their hands intertwined as they maneuvered between the throngs of fans. </p><p>they finally made it to eddie’s car, parked on the farther end of the parking lot that was much quieter. eddie moved to unlock the car, but chris tugged him around. </p><p>eddie backed up against the side of the car, his arms instinctively wrapping around chris’ neck. chris pressed against him, and dragged his hands up eddie’s side till they landed on his hips. “why do you like making out in public so much?” eddie joked and the taller man smiled, ignoring the question and leaning in for a kiss. </p><p>eddie whimpered, “c’mon you promised me we’d go back to your apartment.” chris laughed, “aw, why can’t we stay a little longer?” eddie separated and nodded his head off towards a random stranger staring at them from behind the windshield of his car. chris snorted back a laugh, “you’re right, we should probably leave.” the pair quickly separated and piled into the car.</p><p>“what a creep,” eddie joked as he shut the car door beside him. the other man giggled, “i wouldn’t blame him, you are pretty damn hot.”</p><p>chris kicked his feet back on the dashboard of eddie’s car, a cigarette hanging from between his lips, and a lighter flicking open and closed absentmindedly in his hand. eddie started the car and chris tossed the lighter into the center console, then turning to face eddie.</p><p>eddie’s eyes were glued straight ahead as he readjusted his mirror. “what’s got you so nervous?” chris giggled as eddie shook his head. “what’re you talking about?” the other man pouted and placed his hand on the driver’s cheek, turning his head to face him.</p><p>“are you thinking about what i’m going to do to you once we get back to the apartment?“ eddie nervously chewed on his bottom lip, “stop you doofus, it’s like a thirty minute ride back to your place.” chris smirked and tossed his cigarette out the window haphazardly, not watching as it landed on the pavement of the parking lot. eddie had definitely begun to catch onto all the teasing chris had been doing to get him riled up. </p><p>his hand landed on eddie’s thigh, slowly creeping its way upwards. eddie groaned and pushed chris’ hand back down to the top of his thigh, “stoop, you’re going to make me crash into someone and we haven’t even made it out of the parking lot.” </p><p>chris laughed, “you’re no fun.” eddie rolled his eyes playfully and drove them back to chris’ apartment.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris calmly unlocked his front door, and tossed his jacket and keys on the couch. eddie looked around the apartment as they walked in, and was surprised to say the least. </p><p>it was furnished well, the walls a dark maroon, and an oddly bright colored armchair stood in the living room beside a velvet sofa. some framed photos of musicians or concerts covered the walls, and a thick persian rug covered the floor.</p><p>eddie laughed in amazement, “dear god are you a fuckin’ interior designer?” chris chuckled in response, “everybody always says that, like they’re expecting to walk into some bleak, dead apartment. what’s the fun in that? i mean, outer washington has some incredible secondhand stores; it’s only natural that i took advantage.” eddie laughed as chris disappeared down the dim hallway, but he was too transfixed on the record player to follow him just yet.</p><p>“i don’t know this all just seems so… out of character. i mean this stuff must’ve cost you a fortune.” eddie’s voice resonated down the hallway. chris raised his voice a little so eddie could hear him from the bedroom, “i’ve been saving up money for a while, and i’m pretty damn good at haggling. plus, decorating’s fun. if i’m going to be stuck living here for a while, i might as well make it pretty.” </p><p>eddie finally stood in the doorway of chris’ bedroom, it was similarly decorated to the living room. the taller man laid on his bed, just a small mattress on the floor with a large white comforter and a grey blanket strewn across it. </p><p>eddie kicked his boots off awkwardly and fell back on the bed beside chris. the other man looked over at him endearingly and draped an arm over eddie’s toned waist. eddie ran his hands through chris’ long, disheveled hair.  </p><p>he leaned in and connected their lips. a soft sigh left eddie’s mouth as chris rolled over so he was on top. chris’ nimble fingers ran up eddie’s sides, quickly slipping under his soft t-shirt.</p><p>his hands ran up the smooth expanse of skin, and eddie’s breath caught in his throat. chris’ full lips traveled down eddie’s freckled neck, sucking and kissing around till he found a spot that made eddie whimper. eddie’s breath quickened as chris’ hands continued to rub up his chest, and his tongue ran softly over the fresh mark in his neck.</p><p>chris’ hands pushed up eddie’s t-shirt till it bunched up at the top of his chest, and slowly his lips traveled lower. eddie’s head dropped back against the pillow as chris continued his movements, repeating the same action of kissing, sucking, and licking over the beautifully bronzed skin. his tan from san diego surprisingly hadn’t faded just yet, and chris was absolutely drooling over it. </p><p>his kisses finally came to a pause at the waistband of eddie’s jeans and he tugged them down just as he had previously, this time pulling them off completely unlike before. chris tossed them aimlessly, and eddie giggled slightly as he watched his boxers fly across the room and end up hanging off a lamp. </p><p>chris trailed his lips up eddie’s inner thigh, his tongue running upwards till it came to a halt. eddie whined, “mmph, why’d you stop?” chris giggled and came back up to eye level with eddie. “why, you want me to suck you off? my warm mouth around your-” eddie slapped his hand over chris’ mouth. “<em>stoop,</em>” he whined as he imagined what the rest of chris’ sentence was going to be. chris brayed with laughter at eddie’s reaction. </p><p>chris’ laughter finally died down and eddie was left with a red face and a tight-lipped, shy smile. “why am i naked and you’ve got all these clothes on?” chris’ laughter returned and eddie’s heart skipped a beat. the taller brunette tugged his own shirt off, along with his pants and socks. soon enough they were both stripped completely, their clothes in forgotten messy piles around the bedroom. </p><p>eddie felt his face heat up even more as chris clambered over him. chris was… fit to say the least. eddie’s eyes were glued to his slender but muscular upper torso. he didn’t have the most defined muscles, mainly just a sinewy chest with a tight waist that made eddie practically want to take a photo and frame it. </p><p>his eyes traveled lower and chris chuckled, “take a photo, it’ll last longer.” eddie’s eyes widened, it was as if chris had read his mind, before he immediately recoiled to his usual embarrassed self. chris bit his bottom lip with a smile and leaned in, pressing their lips together. eddie’s legs instinctively wrapped around chris’ waist as they kissed.</p><p>eddie’s back arched off the mattress as chris began to rock against him, finally giving eddie the friction he so desperately wanted. eddie groaned in impatience, giving chris that award-winning compelling pout. chris separated from the kiss, his mouth dropped open in faux shock, “when did you get so whiny?” eddie pouted and bucked his hips up to meet chris’, “since you made me wait almost two weeks for this.” </p><p>chris laughed and reached over to his nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube. he spoke absentmindedly as he poured a puddle of the liquid into his hand, “y’know i definitely would’ve done this a lot sooner if you hadn’t gotten shit-faced the other night.” eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully. chris moved to slick up his fingers but eddie spoke up. “you don’t need to prep me,” eddie’s voice was breathy, and chris just nodded in response. </p><p>“you sure?” chris’ voice was much softer than a few moments ago, his breath quick as he kissed eddie’s cheekbone and jaw. his hand reached between them, slicking himself up and lining up at eddie’s entrance. eddie’s lips pursed slightly and he nodded, “mhm.”</p><p>chris let out a small, “okay,” and kissed eddie’s cheek a final time before slowly pushing in. eddie’s eyebrows immediately furrowed, one hand clenching onto the sheets and the other buried deep in chris’ hair. chris kissed eddie’s neck, his lips lightly pressing against the purple mark from earlier. their lips reconnected as chris pushed in more. eddie’s whines were muffled by the kiss. chris ran his hands over eddie’s thighs and torso to soothe him, before finally pushing the rest of the way in.</p><p>they sat still for a minute or two, nothing but the sound of chris gently kissing eddie to distract him. “is it okay if i move?” chris asked in a silvery voice, his lips close to eddie’s ear. “y-yeah.”</p><p>chris started off slow, his hips a rhythmic beat. eddie let out small whimpers in time with each thrust before his heels dug into chris’ bare ass. “i’m taking that as a sign to speed up,” chris joked breathily, his words barely audible. eddie’s lips formed an ‘o’ as chris thrusted faster, just gasps leaving his mouth. chris grunted and watched the restraint on eddie’s face, like he was trying to hold back from accidentally slipping a moan out.</p><p>“awh come on baby, i wanna hear your pretty little whines,” chris guyed, and eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, his bottom lip bit between his teeth. chris pulled out nearly the full length and snapped his hips back, thrusting in and hitting a spot that made a shrill moan escape his throat. </p><p>“do that again, p- please,” eddie spoke, although it was more of a demand. chris did as told, relishing in the loud moans that began to leave eddie. chris chuckled as the mattress inched away from the wall from his movements, leaving chris hunched over with his hands on either side of eddie’s head. </p><p>“m- mph chris,” eddie’s back arched off the bed as chris reached down between them, his hand wrapping around eddie’s dick. he moved it in time with his thrusts, and soon enough eddie’s words were just stutters. </p><p>“i’m go- gonna… cu-“ eddie sputtered out, not even finishing his sentence before he spilled onto chris’ hand and stomach. chris’ hips sped up even faster than before,  leaving eddie a shaking mess as he rode out his high.</p><p>a minute or so later chris’ hips stuttered, his rhythm getting thrown off before finally pushing in one more deep thrust. he came inside eddie, then hunched over for a moment to regain his breath. </p><p>he pulled out reluctantly and laid beside eddie on the bed. the pair made eye contact and chuckled for a moment before chris looked down at his sticky stomach and hand. chris brought his hand up to his mouth and stuck out his tongue as if to lick it clean, but eddie burst into laughter. “stop don’t do that, you nasty!” chris laughed loudly back and finally rolled off the bed.</p><p>he walked back from the bathroom with a warm washcloth, wiping he and eddie clean carefully before tossing it as he had with the rest of their clothes. chris laid back on the bed, and eddie instinctively laid his head on chris’ chest. chris pulled the comforter over them, and they quickly dozed off.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>might be focusing on just this story for a while- the chapters are fun but take a while to write so i haven't had time to update the oneshots series</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. sound system gonna bring me back up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris slowly shifted awake, with a content smile on his face as he stretched. eddie groaned softly as he did the same. chris laid over eddie after stretching, burying his face in eddie’s neck in his half-asleep haze. </p><p>the morning sun had just began to shine in through the curtains, setting soft slivers of orange sun over the bedroom. the window was slightly cracked open but eddie hadn’t noticed until now, as the curtains were gently billowing with the wind, and the light chirp of birds were outside the window. </p><p>it was practically a scene out of a movie, some picture-perfect morning in bed that you’d only see in romance novels. </p><p>eddie had already shifted too much to fall back asleep, now instead running his hand through chris’ frizzy, coiled hair. chris’ lips curled into a small grin at the sensation, already beginning to lull back to sleep. eddie’s head leaned back against the pillow more, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. </p><p>“mmmph… go back to sleep baby,” chris muttered against eddie’s neck. eddie brushed chris’ hair away so he could see the side of chris’ face. “i can’t i’m already awake,” eddie responded quietly, still running his fingers through chris’ hair. </p><p>chris’ slightly calloused fingertips traced shapes on eddie’s arm. he finally sat up a little, hovering over eddie so they were eye-to-eye. </p><p>eddie’s breath was taken to say the least. chris’ eyes twinkled with mirth and a sweet grin crossed his lips. the morning sun hit his pale skin, his sable brown hair glowing around the edges like a halo. his eyes seemed to be almost an entirely different shade in the sun, turning them a pale green rather than their usual almost turquoise color. </p><p>eddie darted his tongue over his lips and chris giggled, having spent the last minute or so just watching eddie’s eyes trail down his own body. the taller man leaned down and their lips connected. chris held his weight above eddie still, leaning onto his forearms and his legs tangled with eddie’s.</p><p>eddie’s chest squeezed like it always did when they kissed, but this time it felt different. chris kissed eddie like he’d spent every second taking notes on what affected him most. it was hot and breathy, tongue against tongue in a way that made both of them want more. </p><p>chris’ tiredness was far gone now, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of eddie’s bare body against his. he softly nudged eddie’s legs apart till he was positioned between them as he was the night before. chris sucked eddie’s bottom lip into his mouth slightly before separating. </p><p>“d’you wanna go again?” eddie chuckled at the question, “yeah, okay.” chris grabbed the bottle of lube from his nightstand, and within a minute or two he was inside eddie again. </p><p>eddie pulled chris down so they were chest-to-chest, resuming their kiss from before. chris thrusted his hips achingly slow, his mouth slanted against eddie’s in a sloppy kiss. everything was redolent of the night before, just this time sugary and slow, knowing they were in no rush.</p><p>small pants left eddie’s lips, faded gasps of chris’ name trailing with them. chris’ face buried in the crook of eddie’s neck again, his hand trailing down eddie’s thigh at the same time. eddie’s hand buried in the back of chris’ hair, his gasps growing as chris sucked over the hickey left from last night. the sound was mellifluous to chris, every word uttered a dulcet tone that edged him closer to his high.</p><p>suddenly the bedroom door flung open, making chris scramble to pull the sheets over them. kim thayil stood in the doorway, his sardonic laugh entering the room.  </p><p>“jesus christ man, we thought you were dead or something.” chris had already pulled out, and was now sitting against the wall with the sheets pulled up to cover eddie’s chest and his own lap. “so you decided to just let yourself in?” chris retorted, not glancing over at eddie who was sitting uncomfortably. </p><p>the guitarist leaned against the door frame, “that is what you gave me the spare key for, isn’t it? its nine in the morning sorry, i wasn’t expecting you to be boning the twink from the show.” chris’ face fell, “don’t be a dick man, his name’s eddie you know that. and he’s not some random guy i picked up, have some respect. why are you here so early anyways?” </p><p>kim’s hands raised in defense, “sorry, sorry. i was just fucking with you. we were supposed to have practice an hour ago but you never showed so matt called it off.” chris groaned and scratched his head, “fuck i completely forgot.” “alright well, i’ll see you tomorrow then, we’ve got a recording session. bye guys.” </p><p>kim left shortly after. chris sighed in relief and looked over at eddie, who was still stiffly laying in bed with an embarrassed expression. “sorry, he thinks he’s funny when he makes jokes like that,” chris chewed at his bottom lip. eddie shot him a sympathetic smile, “chris don’t stress, i think i can handle a little teasing.” </p><p>chris smiled and leaned over, giving eddie a soft peck. “i would say we can finish if you want, but kim kinda killed my hard-on.” eddie laughed boisterously, “no, no it’s okay. i should probably head back to my place anyways; i need a shower.” chris smiled and gave eddie a finally quick kiss before rolling off the bed.</p><p>“i can take you to go meet those guys who’re looking for a new singer today, if you’re free.” chris’ disembodied voice echoed from the bathroom. eddie slid on his boxers and jeans, “sounds great.” there was a short pause before chris answered, “alright, but i’m picking you up this time! just a few hours from now, six or something. i’ll ask if they wanna grab dinner, jeff never says no to free food.” </p><p>“oh right, you never told me what their names were,” eddie pulled on his jeans and combed his fingers through his rat’s nest of hair. “well there’s jeff ament, he plays bass. and stone gossard, the guitarist. they were in a band together with a uhm… really close friend of mine, andy wood. he kinda helped decorate this place. he passed a few months ago though, beginning of this year.” chris swallowed down the lump in his throat, he’d pushed those emotions down a while ago. </p><p>eddie’s hands slowed to a stop, going to speak up before chris continued. “they started jamming with a mutual friend a while later, mike mccready. i’ve heard them play a few times, just screwing around. they’re still on the search for a drummer, but they’re pretty damn great. mike’s a guitar god,” chris chuckled and reemerged from the bathroom, his hair less frizzy and tangled now. a pair of boxers hung low on his hips, immediately making eddie’s eyes glue to his chest. </p><p>“r- right. i’ll bring that demo tape with us tonight. you’re not gonna shower?” eddie said, giving chris a jokingly disgusted expression. the taller brunette scoffed, “i have to go grocery shopping and take my guitar to get fixed. i smell like roses and fresh linen anyways.” eddie laughed lightly at chris’ comment, he loved his humor and witty jokes. </p><p>“alright douchebag, see ya.” eddie joked, picking up the remainder of his things and walking out towards the front door. “douchebag? all i do is call you angel, sweetheart, doll face, and in return i get ‘see ya douchebag’?” chris teased, walking out to the living room in just a t-shirt and boxers. eddie turned around with a gummy smile, and kissed chris quickly. </p><p>“alright, goodbye my sweet, <em> sweet </em> angel.” chris snorted and rolled his eyes playfully, “oh whatever loser, i’ll see you tonight.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie stubbed out his cigarette on the pavement of the sidewalk, listening to the way it hissed as the ember was crushed. cassette tapes were crammed in the inner pocket of his jacket, squished between his worryingly thin wallet and a scratched metal zippo.</p><p>a pale blue 2-door truck pulled up in front of him, music blaring from the car. eddie smiled seeing chris’ usual pretty face in the drivers seat.</p><p>“hey ed. why didn’t you just wait inside? i would’ve come in and gotten you.” eddie’s lips curled into a tight smile, “dunno. wanted to wait outside.” chris chuckled, “okay weirdo.” his mouth dropped open in fake shock, “it’s nice outside! the rain stopped and the sun just set.” chris leaned over, kissed eddies cheek, and then started the car. “i know, i’m just teasing ya’.” </p><p>eddie watched the trees and buildings whiz past his window, the soft whirring sound barely audible above the radio. it was soothing, being in seattle. the air felt cleaner, crisper than anywhere else he’d been. eddie’d definitely learned that the homeless weren’t exactly the nicest, but he’d been in their position before too and it didn’t exactly make him the most cheerful person.</p><p>the rest of the drive was quiet but pleasant, filled with that familiar comfortable silence everybody always talks about. where there’s no awkward need for conversation to fill in the quietness, which relieved eddie since he wasn’t the best at keeping up talk in the first place. </p><p>they pulled up to a small restaurant, squished between a few stores and some dead auto-repair parts shop. those generic neon signs they always have at bars hung in the window, their lights glowing out towards the street.</p><p>chris wrapped his arm around eddie’s broad shoulders as they walked up to the restaurant, immediately being greeted by a giant roar of greetings.</p><p>a tall man stood up, a thick multicolored hat on his head, a loose tank top hanging off one shoulder, and a pair of shorts over tights on his legs. he greeted chris with a tight hug and an ear-to-ear smile. </p><p>“hey chris! how’ve you been? and this is the eddie you’ve been talking about non-stop right?” the man looked over to eddie, his arms wide to bring him in for a hug as well. the shorter singer smiled and accepted it, he already had a good feeling about him. </p><p>“ed, this is jeff! he’s the great bassist i told you about,” chris spoke, his hand lightly squeezing eddie’s shoulder as he did so. jeff led the pair back to their table, where two other men sat.</p><p>chris gestured over towards one of them, “this is mike.” he looked to be a few inches taller than eddie, and was much skinnier. he had long brown hair, and a ‘smoke pot’ t-shirt on. the man shot eddie a small smile, “nice to meet you.” </p><p>finally, the third man stood up, who eddie presumed to be stone. he had long straight hair and a brown and black suede jacket on.  he shook eddie’s hand promptly and introduced himself. </p><p>they all sat at the table, chris of course pulling his arm around eddie’s shoulders as if it was a habit at this point. jeff leaned across the table to speak to eddie. </p><p>“so, i heard you’re a singer!” eddie smiled, it had been a while since he got to discuss music seriously with someone. “yeah, i was in this band bad radio back in san diego.” jeff nodded with an interested face, “oh sweet. what’d you guys play?” he shrugged, “funk rock mainly. red hot chili peppers kind of stuff.” </p><p>their conversation continued for a while, eventually turning into some intense basketball debate. jeff ended up rambling about mookie blaylock for the longer part of dinner, making eddie laugh and tease him for the odd amount of info he knew. </p><p>chris even joined in, despite his insane lack of sports knowledge. “moses jordan? isn’t that the dude from the hair commercial-“ both eddie and jeff froze completely. “shut the fuck up you’re kidding,” eddie’s mouth was dropped wide, and looking at chris as if he’d said he’d never heard of led zeppelin. </p><p>chris was a genius at playing clueless, “what’re you looking at me like that for? isn’t he the basketball guy from the gentle-treatment commercial? c’mon i know you remember it; it came out like four years ago.” eddie faked a laugh, “you’re real funny, y’know that?” </p><p>chris finally broke into laughter, leaning into eddie so his face was against his shoulder. “oh my god, he’s like the most famous basketball player! yes i fucking know who he is!” eddie looked at him skeptically. “he’s the guy who makes those basketball sneakers! the real expensive ones.” chris finished his sentence with a shit-eating smile and eddie smacked his chest. “knock it off you loser!” </p><p>jeff watched the interaction with a loud boisterous laugh, to the point where it snapped stone and mike out of their conversation. eddie shook his head over at jeff, “sorry chris really thinks he’s funny.” chris smiled and nudged his nose against eddie’s cheek, kissing it briskly. eddie turned over at him with a flushed face and a small smile. they kissed for a split moment, before turning back to the others.</p><p>“jesus i think we’ve been here for like thirty minutes and they still haven’t asked for our drink orders,” stone said in an annoyed tone. mike shrugged, “just wave ‘em over.” stone scoffed, “they should’ve already come over i mean… it’s their damn job.” mike smirked, “i’ll call em over for you drama queen.” </p><p>jeff let out a puff of air through his nose as a laugh and turned to eddie, “don’t worry stone’s always like this. sarcasm is his middle name.” eddie grinned, he was really taking a liking to jeff. </p><p>the waitress came over shortly after, apologizing for the wait (despite the fact that the restaurant was empty) and ordering both their drinks and food. </p><p>the rest of dinner was fairly short, so eventually chris called for the check. jeff of course tried to intervene to pay for it, but chris spent the remainder of his paycheck from the second job on it anyways. they walked out the restaurant and said their goodbyes, eddie quickly handing jeff the demo’s he’d brought before separating.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie paused before he got out of the car and turned towards chris. “i really appreciated dinner tonight,” his voice was considerably quieter than it was at the restaurant earlier. “i’m glad you had fun, angel. sorry you didn’t get to talk to mike much, he was pretty damn busy trying to get with that waitress.” chris chuckled after, mike had spent the last hour or so of dinner trying to hit on the girl that was bussing their table.</p><p>eddie grinned and ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “well, i’ll talk to you later.” chris leaned in and connected his lips with eddie’s. “okay i’ll call you after we go to the studio tomorrow.” </p><p>eddie nodded and walked up towards his apartment, still buzzing from the feel of chris’ lips against his.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. you're perfect in the way, a perfect end today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>stone laughed loudly as jeff slung a handful of bubbles from the sink at his face. the bubbles didn’t exactly hit their goal, instead landing on his shirt and slowly slinking downwards. </p><p>“stop, just let me take out the trash you asshole!” the guitarist giggled, his arms poorly tugging the bag from the can while trying to dodge suds. jeff laughed, “okay… i’ll give you a thirty second head start and then i’m coming!” stone’s face turned skeptical as if he was trying to decipher if jeff was kidding or not.</p><p>the bassist responded by grabbing one of the dishes he’d just washed, and filling it with a heaping amount of soapy water. stone broke into fake screams and ran out the apartment, bag in hand.</p><p>he walked back to the dumpster barefoot, tip-toeing to be sure not to step on anything. he walked back up the courtyard steps, past the small “singles - 18 units” sign and up on the small concrete path. </p><p>suddenly he bumped into a familiar chest. “watch where you’re going asshat,” chris chuckled, his eyes followed stone’s shocked expression. a familiar smirk crossed his face, “i don’t know, keep talking like that and i’ll have my boyfriend come kick your ass.” </p><p>chris broke into laughter and shoved stone lightly, “oh shut up i thought you were all self-righteous. what happened to that huh? the 23-year-old stone that would’ve punched me himself?” stone scoffed, chris had a stupid humor.</p><p>“oh whatever. what’re you up to anyways?” “nothing really, just got out of the studio so… had a few phone calls i wanted to make.” the conversation continued for a minute or so before jeff came scrambling out of the house looking for stone. chris laughed at the interaction and walked back up to his apartment.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris laid back against his bed, the phone’s handset against his ear and the housing rested on his stomach. it rung a few times before picking up.</p><p>“hello?” eddie’s euphonious voice sounded through the phone. “hey hot stuff,” chris smirked as he spoke, staring up at the ceiling dazedly. “what you up to?” eddie’s lips curled into a smile and he hesitated thinking of a response.</p><p>“just sitting in bed. kinda boring.” chris chuckled, “is where i’m supposed to ask you what you’re wearing?” eddie nearly choked on the drink that was in hand. chris was wheezing at the sound of eddie’s stifled choke and continued. his voice was sultry and slow, “here i’ll save you some time.”</p><p>his voice turned almost high pitched out of nowhere, the man had a perfect imitation of a female’s voice. “i’ve got on those lace panties you like, the ones with the matching bra-“ eddie hissed, “<em>chris</em>.” the taller brunette busted into the type of laughter that would make your knees go weak. </p><p>“<em>what?</em> c’mon don’t tell me you don’t like the thought of that.” eddie finally cleared his throat, “here i was thinking we’d have a sweet, nice conversation. you’re such a slut chris!” chris was rolling on the bed at that point, and eddie’s face had the widest grin, his cheeks hot with embarrassment. </p><p>“hey slut shaming is not nice eddie! i must say it’s kinda hot coming from you though,” chris mewled and eddie began laughing. “stoop, you have some obsession with sex i swear!” “i do not! i’m a healthy 26 year old man with a high libido. what’re you accusing me of being a nympho for?” </p><p>eddie’s laugh turned to the point where it was just air, “shut up! anyways, any word from jeff yet?” chris chuckled at the sudden change in topic. “it’s only been a day, angel. don’t worry too much about it okay? both him and stone are working multiple side jobs so they’re fairly busy.” eddie sighed, “yeah, you’re probably right.”</p><p> “not to mention, why haven’t i heard you sing yet?” the other man scoffed, “did you want me to serenade you or something?” “uhh, hell yeah? you should be singing me al green!” eddie chuckled at that, the thought of him singing chris ‘old time lovin’’ as they playfully slow-danced in their living room. </p><p>“you should come over.” eddie quirked an eyebrow, “right now?” chris smirked, “yeah why not?” eddie’s eyebrows raised, he was sitting in his sweat-soaked shirt from the record store and a pair of shorts covered in 4 years worth of tears and duck tape. </p><p>“oh shit okay, hold on,” eddie hung up abruptly and took what seemed like the quickest shower of his life before heading over to chris’.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>the pair ended up at the drive-ins, dozens of pillows and blankets packed into the bed of chris’ truck. it was chris’ idea, since the rain had cleared up and a movie he wanted to see was screening some nearly ten year old movie. </p><p>the sky was dark and littered with stars, the smell of pine filled the air. chris was distracted from the movie by the smaller man beside him, and the soft way he’d lay his head back in chris’ chest a little more to get comfortable.</p><p>“this movie isn’t going to make me piss my pants or something is it?” eddie giggled. he was half-laid in the truck beside chris, the pair under thick layers of blankets and on top of quite a few plush pillows. chris shrugged, already preparing his best nonchalant voice, “maybe. i mean it <em>is</em> called the evil dead. sounds pretty damn spooky to me!” eddie giggled and shoved chris slightly, “oh shut up dipstick!” chris laughed and pulled the smaller singer in tighter. </p><p>the taller man giggled at the way eddie winced and squirmed every time a gross scene came on. eddie looked up at chris, “why are you laughing you fucking sicko? this girl just got raped!” chris only laughed louder, making the people in the cars beside them give dirty looks and turn up their radios. “i’m not laughing at the movie it’s just… you keep getting this look on your face like someone pissed in your cereal.” </p><p>eddie’s face cracked into a grin, his arms playfully shoving chris before retreating back into the blanket to escape the cold. chris wrapped his arms around eddie. the smaller man pouted jokingly and turned away, but the moment chris’ lips began peppering kisses all over his face he couldn’t hold out anymore.</p><p>“sto- ooopp, you’re… making me… miss th- the movie!” eddie spoke, his words broken up with giggles and wheezes. chris finally backed off, his arms around eddie. eddie winced away from the screen as another gross scene came on, “chris this movie’s boring as hell.” chris shook his head, “man we are never going to be able to watch like ninety percent of my favorite movies. you wanna get out of here or something? is it boring you that much?” eddie shrugged, “no no, if you want to stay for the end of course we can.”</p><p>chris chuckled, “no, c’mon baby lets get outta here.” eddie reluctantly rolled away from chris, dragging the blanket with him as he slid out of the bed. chris shut the bed and hopped in the front seat, switching the radio back to some random music channel before driving them out.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>they ended up at a small restaurant, some italian place squished in the corner of a shopping center. they were sat in a tiny table against the front window, facing out towards the parking lot.</p><p>“did you see that guy and his date as we pulled out of the drive-ins? dude looked like he wanted to kill us for having our headlights on,” chris took a long sip of his drink. eddie chuckled and spun his fork around in his food, “i know, how could you chris? you absolute dick you totally ruined his date!” chris laughed and tossed his bread roll at eddie, “you’re such a dick.” eddie smiled and picked up the roll, taking a huge bite out of it.</p><p>“hey guys, what’re you two doing here?” layne spoke, standing beside chris and eddie’s table suddenly. chris jumped slightly, layne practically appeared out of nowhere. jerry stood a few feet behind him, hunched over a table signing the bill for their meal. “taking the misses out for a date,” chris joked, his eyes glancing towards eddie as he said ‘misses’. </p><p>layne gave him a soft smile, “awww that’s so sweet! you guys should come with us once you’re done, we were gonna go walk around the shopping center. there’s still a few stores open.” chris looked over to eddie, giving him a look that asked if it was alright for them to go. </p><p>eddie nodded, “yeah, i’m down.” the blondes waited outside for a few minutes as chris called for the check, before they all walked out together. </p><p>the shopping center was decently sized, with a few shops still open despite the time of night. chris linked his arm with eddie’s as they strolled down the gravely concrete.</p><p>jerry puffed at his cigarette and looked over at chris, “you guys wanna go in walmart? kinda the only decent place open unless you wanna go buy ‘i heart seattle’ shirts.” layne chuckled at the comment and looked to face the other pair. “yeah sure, lets go.”</p><p>the store was a warehouse of blinding lights and cheap, mass-produced, product, but the look on layne’s face would’ve made you think he was walking into disneyland. a greeter at the door looked terrified at the group of incredibly tall (except for eddie of course) long haired boys, but layne was too distracted by the huge aisle of bikes. </p><p>eddie laughed as layne’s incredibly tall frame tugged down a tricycle built for a 6 year old. “bet you ten bucks i could beat you in a race,” layne raised an eyebrow at eddie, who tip-toed to try to grab a bike to join him. “oh it’s going <em>down</em>.”</p><p> chris snorted as eddie jumped repeatedly to try to grab the toy down. “i don’t think it’s going anywhere,” chris retorted and eddie spun around with a glare. chris snorted and patted eddie’s waist, a sign for him to scoot over. he grabbed two down and looked over to jerry, “you wanna go too?” jerry laughed, “uh, hell yeah! i’ll lap layne in a SECOND!”</p><p>the pair lined up down the large aisle. the sight was hilarious, three grown men sitting on tiny plastic tricycles in the middle of a warehouse-sized store. they looked around to check if there was any workers, before layne began counting down. </p><p>on one they all sped down the empty halls, laughing and yelling like teenagers. jerry stuck his boot out, kicking the side of laynes bike to make him skid out. jerry busted out laughing as layne toppled over, knocking feet-first into a rack of clothing which came piling down over him. </p><p>eddie and chris sped ahead of jerry, straight towards a sharp corner. the pair made eye contact as they sped towards the corner, huge smiles on either of their faces. eddie’s eyes looked forwards in the nick of time, just a split second soon enough to turn to the side. </p><p>chris wasn’t so lucky and the singer went flying forwards, knocking over huge shelves of packages of mens boxers with him. eddie sped past the whole group of them and over the finish line.</p><p>the shorter man stood up victoriously, his arms in the air with a giant grin. he broke into laughter at the sight of the wreckage, his friends crashed into shelves and racks or in jerry’s case, doubled over wheezing with the heel of his boot stuck in the pedal. </p><p>a muffled voice spoke from under the pile of clothing, “eddie i hear your little gremlin laugh, i’m assuming it’s safe to say you won!” eddie’s face scrunched up, trying to hold back a laugh as he dug through the pile to find laynes head. layne shoved the rack off himself and scooted over to the side. </p><p>eddie scrambled over to chris, but couldn’t even begin to help him out because he was wheezing so hard. jerry walked up with layne a moment later. “aww chris look! buried in men’s underwear just like you’ve always dreamed of!” chris pushed the plastic-wrapped tidy-whities away, to reveal a deadpan expression. </p><p>eddie’s eyes were tearing up as he reached down to help the singer up. “oh please, that dream would only be sexy if the boxers were eddie’s.” eddie’s face turned bright red and jerry’s expression scrunched up, “this is only our first time hanging out with you guys outside of music and you’re already way too comfortable!” chris began laughing along with them, “please, half the shit i say is just to see if i can get a reaction out of you guys.”</p><p>jerry laughed as they all stood up, continuing to walk down the aisles leaving a huge mess behind. eddie looked up at chris concernedly, “shouldn’t we clean that up?” chris leaned down to him, “i would say we should but uhm… there’s two security guards trailing behind us so we’re just gonna walk away real fast.” eddie bit back a giggle and nodded, intertwining his hand with chris’. </p><p>suddenly a harsh hand pulled on layne’s shoulder. the blonde spun around with a confused look, making the whole group pause. </p><p>an irregularly short security guard stood in front of them, another behind him. “are you the boys who destroyed those aisles over there?” layne looked over at jerry with a teasing grin, and then back at the guard. “why, no sir! we are some good, christian, law abiding citizens!” eddie buried his face in chris’ shoulder to stifle his giggles. </p><p>the security guard raised an eyebrow, “i’m going to need you four to come back to the surveillance room with me.” the group glanced at each other, before layne sprinted off without even taking a second glance back. </p><p>the rest ran off with him, sprinting out in fits of laughter as the security began to sprint after then. layne snatched one of the kids bikes as they ran out, which was practically useless since he would’ve been much fast running due to his height. eddie nearly stopped running from how hard he was laughing at the sight of a 6’1 man riding a ninja turtles bike like he was trying to get every last second of use out of it before it collapsed from his weight.</p><p>chris laughed as layne ditched the bike right before they got out the entrance. eddie tripped, his boots getting caught on the metal on the floor. he got sent flying forwards with a loud ‘umph’. chris skidded to a stop and turned around quickly, crouching down for eddie to get on his shoulders before continuing running.</p><p>the security guards finally gave up, wheezing in the doorway of the store, bent over panting like they’d ran a mile. the group stopped once they hit the parking lot too, spinning around to face the doors in raucous laughter. </p><p>eddie leaned down, wrapping his arms around chris’ neck and resting his chin on the top of his head. jerry wrapped his arm around layne’s shoulders and turned to face the pair, “those guys were sure as hell determined to preserve the integrity of walmart.” chris chuckled, “yeah he seemed pretty damn torn up about that teenage mutant ninja turtles bike.” eddie smiled at the way chris wrapped his hands around eddie’s while they walked.</p><p>they made it back to their cars after a minute or two. “alright we’ll see you guys later, i gotta drive sleeping beauty back home i can feel him going limp on me,” chris chuckled, squeezing eddie’s hands as the younger man yawned. layne laughed and gave eddie his number in case they wanted to hangout, before splitting ways.</p><p>the pair piled back into chris’ truck and drove back towards eddie’s apartment, eddie falling asleep on the way.</p><p>chris parked on the sidewalk out front and looked over at eddie. he brushed the hair out of his face softly, and a small smile formed at the way eddie leaned into his hand when he cupped his face. chris leaned in and kissed eddie’s cheek, making the smaller man stir awake.</p><p>“shit are we already at the apartment?” eddie rubbed his eyes sleepily. “mhm.” eddie stretched out as much as he could in the car, unbuckled his seatbelt, and leaned over to chris. </p><p>he connected their lips for a moment, his lips smiling against the kiss. “goodnight chris,” he hopped out of the car with ease. chris smiled at the other man, “g’night eddie.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this took so damn long i was busy and i rewrote it like three times and i'm still not happy with it haha</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. stumbling and wander in the moonshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the front door of the record shop jingled as it opened, and eddie’s eyes glanced up. he had been sorting through shitty records all day, slapping price tags on them, shoving them in whatever genre shelf they belonged. </p><p>a familiar curly-haired man stood at the entrance, and locked eyes with eddie. “shit! i was going to surprise you,” chris flashed his signature smile and crouched down beside eddie on the floor, where he sat with a pricing gun. eddie grinned back up at him, “how’d you find my work?” </p><p>“layne told it to me, said you guys talked on the phone last night after he gave you his number the other day.” </p><p>a smile crossed eddie’s face at the thought, “yeah we talked for a few hours, he’s a really sweet guy.” chris quirked an eyebrow, “a few hours? damn we don’t even talk that long.” eddie rolled his eyes and shoved chris playfully, “don’t be jealous weirdo.” chris chuckled, “i’m just messing with you.” eddie shook his head, “mhm. sure you were.” </p><p>chris ran a hand through his hair and tucked it behind his ear. “you wanna come into the studio with me?” eddie looked up with wide eyes, “seriously?” chris shrugged, “yeah why not.” eddie’s face scrunched up, “i’m still on the clock for another hour, i’ll just come some other day.” chris smirked, “well you’re just in luck.” the singer plopped down on a thick couch that looked as if it was hauled out of someone’s grandma’s place.  </p><p>“our session isn’t till three,” chris spoke as he looked around the store, eyes dragging over the hundreds of thousands of stacks of vinyl. posters littered the walls, so thick to the point where you couldn’t tell what the real paint color of the walls were. eddie shot chris a quick smile and placed the price tagger on top of the box of vinyl. </p><p>he grunted loudly as he stood up, readjusted his grip on the box, and walked off to put away the items. chris sat on the couch for a while, watching the younger man walk around and occasionally making conversation whenever he passed by. chris, being as restless as he is, eventually stood to go skim through the cases of records. </p><p>time passed by slowly but surely, and eventually eddie could peel off his ‘easy street records’ shirt and clock out. eddie pulled his jacket on a little closer as they walked out to the street, out towards chris’ car. “i’ll drive you back after so we can pick up your car,” chris said as they hopped in the car, and drove off towards the studio.</p><hr class="hr"/><p>chris bit his lower lip as he adjusted the levels for his vocals at the sound board. he was working on a small project for a dear friend who had passed, andy wood. it wasn’t too large of an album, just a few songs that chris had written while on the road. they weren’t exactly soundgarden’s typical sound, so he’d formed a small group with some other close friend’s of andy’s. </p><p>he was preparing to sing the final track on the album, ‘hunger strike’. “this is the last song on the album right?” eddie asked softly after chris turned off the recording. chris looked over to him with a slight smile, “mhm, the tenth. it’s kind of a last minute track but… i can’t do uneven numbers.” </p><p>eddie laughed, “you’re one of those people who are superstitious about odd numbers, huh?” chris’ lips curled at the ends, “i can’t control it, it’s… involuntary. uneven numbers make my skin crawl.” eddie giggled, “how cute of you.” chris rolled his eyes with a grin and returned to his previous task.</p><p>awhile later, eddie sat quietly on the floor of the studio, a thick roll of duct tape at his feet and a small african drum in his hands. chris was in the booth, recording for another track. chris was nearly two-thirds of the way through the song, but kept cutting the recording right before the low notes. chris couldn’t hit them quite right, his voice got shaky when attempting to sing them.</p><p>eddie’s head perked up at the noise, his eyes lighting up with an idea that same way they had when he came up with the demos he’d given to jeff. eddie pressed down the last piece of tape on the drum and placed it to the side, then standing up. </p><p>chris’ eyes widened as eddie pushed open the door into the recording booth, “something wrong?” the singer spoke, sliding his headphones off one ear. eddie leaned into the mic, and began to sing. </p><p>eddie began to sing the low portion chris had been struggling with, and it was almost as if something had clicked in chris’ mind. chris smiled, he’d finally found his perfect other half. he joined in shortly after, singing the high line along with eddie. their voices came together perfectly, like a puzzle piece you’d been searching for ages for finally clicking into place. </p><p>it was sweet but short, and chris looked simply amazed when they were done. “that was fucking perfect. you should sing on the album, really. it’ll fit great, i can sing the first line and you’ll come in after and sing the same lines in a lower register.” eddie’s eyes widened, “are you serious? chris this is insane- this’d be the first time i’ve ever been on a serious album.” </p><p>chris shot the smaller man a big smile and pulled him in tightly, pressing his lips to the other’s forehead. “what about the rest of the guys in the band? are you sure they’ll be okay with this?” chris didn’t hesitate for a moment, “i’m sure they’ll agree the moment they hear you. plus, they’re supposed to be here in a bit to put some finishing touches so we can talk to them then.” eddie nodded.</p><p>chris dragged the smaller man back to the plush couch behind the mixing board, and they both sat. eddie giggled as chris laid across the entire couch, his head laying in eddie’s lap. eddie’s hands ran through chris’ unruly curls, they were much messier than usual but gorgeous nonetheless. </p><p>chris ran a hand down his chin, as if stroking a beard. “should i grow a mustache?” he looked up at eddie, a thoughtful expression on his face. eddie laughed, but his chuckles faded once he saw the faux pout on chris’ face. “i’m serioussss,” chris pulled a whiny voice which only made eddie smile more. “if you want to, go for it. you’d look good no matter what, you could shave your head and i’d still say you look like a supermodel.” </p><p>chris laughed, a slight shade of red rose to his tanned cheeks. eddie laughed, “are you blushing?” chris’ face turned even redder, “no, what? it’s… incredibly hot in here.” eddie laughed loudly, “bullshit, it’s fifty degrees outside and this place has no heating.” chris’ lips pursed and he went quiet. eddie shook his head with a smile and leaned down. </p><p>he placed a soft, quick kiss against chris’ lips, but the taller man leaned up to deepen it. chris disconnected their lips to sit up more, moving till he sat sideways on eddie’s lap. chris moved eddie’s hand so it slid around his own waist, and leaned in till they were nearly chest-to-chest. </p><p>eddie pushed chris away softly, “we shouldn’t, i don’t want stone to walk in like kim did. he might seriously never be able to look me in the eyes again.” chris smiled and scooted off eddie’s lap, “kim teased me about that for like two hours after.” eddie’s face heated up, “oh god he didn’t tell matt and ben did he?” chris squeezed his eyes shut, “he tried to make innuendos about us probably having broken the bed frame hence why my mattress is on the floor, and matt told me ‘you really shouldn’t be jumping on the bed, chris, it damages the frame super easy’.” </p><p>eddie couldn’t contain his laughter, “oh my god, poor matt.” “i know. he even offered to pitch in some cash to help pay for getting a new bed.” eddie laughed harder and shook his head.</p><p>their laughter was quickly interrupted by the door into the studio opening. “you fuckers are really sitting on the couch chatting during our paid studio time?” jeff joked loudly as he walked in, matt, mike, and stone in tow. chris rolled his eyes and stood off the couch, greeting the band members. eddie did the same, even awkwardly hugging stone.</p><hr class="hr"/><p>it was nearly two hours later when they finally finished, right before sunset. they had eddie record his vocals and worked over the last few issues of some other tracks, but they were finally done for the day.</p><p>“hey eddie, i’ve been meaning to speak to you! i finally had a chance to listen to that tape you gave me,” jeff spoke, walking up to eddie who sat quietly on the couch while others chatted. eddie’s expression changed, the anxiety evident in his face. jeff sat down beside him. “we really love the tapes. we want you to come jam with us for a bit on monday, we all pitched in to rent a warehouse for a bit to make a rehearsal space.” eddie’s eyes lit up, “h- holy shit yeah, i’d love to.” jeff smiled, “alright, sweet, can’t wait! ‘f everything goes well, we can hopefully audition for drummers within the week.” <br/>eddie was practically on cloud nine, he wasn’t expecting this whole band thing to go so quickly. he’d heard a bit of mother love bone’s music through chris, and he couldn’t have been more ecstatic to be working with them. “yeah of course, i’m really looking forward to it.” </p><p>jeff smiled and patted eddie’s shoulder, then stood up to go speak to stone. chris walked over to eddie a moment later, seating himself promptly on the couch beside the other. “what’s up romeo? you ready to get outta here?” eddie laughed, “why romeo? are you going to fake your death while i drink poison?” a smile formed on chris’ face, “oh whatever shakespeare nerd, you’re reading way too much into it.” eddie giggled and pressed his lips against chris’ cheek, “yeah let’s go.”</p><hr class="hr"/><p>eddie felt almost light headed with happiness as he and chris walked back to the other’s apartment hand in hand. they walked up past the courtyard and into chris’ apartment, chris flicking on the lights as they did so.</p><p>“so mister, you want a beer to celebrate?” chris joked, separating from eddie to walk into the kitchen. he pulled open the door of the black fridge and tugged out a six pack. eddie pulled his long hair away from his neck for a moment as he aimlessly wandered around the house, waiting for chris. “yeah a beer sounds great.”</p><p>chris grabbed a bag of chips off the counter and walked out to eddie in the living room. “you’ve got a polaroid? why didn’t you tell me, i would’ve brought it with us to that show the other day,” eddie spoke as he inspected the small camera, which was sitting idly on the living room coffee table next to a pack of spare film.</p><p>chris shrugged, “c’mon bring it with us.” chris said as he balanced the beer on his knee to prop open the window of his living room. eddie raised an eyebrow, “what are you doing?” chris didn’t say a thing, just slid open the window and stepped out to the fire escape. </p><p>he climbed the ladder with eddie all along till they reached the roof, still somehow balancing the chips and beer with him. eddie smiled at the sight, two small lawn chairs and a set of string lights poorly strewn between an electricity box and a roof turbine. </p><p>chris slouched down on one of the chairs and placed the food and drinks beside him, “come sit, babe.” eddie smiled and sat down on the chair pressed up against chris’. the chairs faced out towards the street in front of the apartments. </p><p>it was even prettier after sunset, the lights of the scattered apartments and buildings lit up in small spots like fireflies. a soft orange hue lined the fading horizon, a small remainder from the now gone sunset. the lights backlit chris, making the small stray hairs and curls seem to almost glow under the light.</p><p>chris smiled as eddie fiddled with the camera before finally letting out a small “hah!’ and watching it blink awake. chris took a sip of the sweating beer in his hand. eddie held the camera up suddenly with a grin and aimed it towards chris, taking a quick snap of chris’ smirking beer-sipping smirk. </p><p>“hey wait! i wasn’t ready!” chris smiled, trying to tug the camera back from the smaller man, but eddie jerked it back too quickly. eddie waved the photo in the air so it’d develop faster, but chris snatched it from his hands. </p><p>chris looked at the now developed photo and eddie leaned over chris’ shoulder to see it. “aw, you look cute,” eddie giggled and kissed chris’ cheek. chris shook his head and leaned over to eddie, kissing him on the lips this time. chris tugged the camera from eddie’s hands since he wasn’t paying attention, and caught a quick photo of their soft kiss.</p><p>eddie separated, “oh you’re such a sap!” chris laughed and shook the photo as eddie had before, “how can i resist?” eddie rolled his eyes playfully and took the photo from his hand. “it better not be blurry.” chris scoffed, “it doesn’t matter, i’m putting it in my wallet either way.” eddie giggled, “your wallet? what are we, engaged?” chris rolled his eyes dramatically, “i mean… maybe if you want to.” eddie laughed loudly and shouldered chris slightly, “oh shut up loser.” </p><p>chris ran a hand through his knotted hair, it getting stuck in the tangles halfway through. eddie held the photo up proudly so it was visible in the string lights. “shit maybe we should take another one for my wallet too.” chris laughed, “you’re just trying to talk me into taking more photos for your chris cornell shrine.” eddie nearly choked on his beer, “you’re so full of yourself, shithead!” “oh, i’m just teasing you,” chris spoke softly, a grin on his face. </p><p>eddie smiled, “okay seriously maybe one more kissing photo… for safe keeping.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. should have known i would conceal your way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this took a while to get postedr, i just got back from a small family vacation. kind of a short chapter, but next one should be up soon :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris flopped back on his bed tiredly, and a loud groan escaped his lips as he dropped. eddie was sat on the bed already, in just a pair of boxers with a thick blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “fuck i’m tired,” chris groaned, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squeezed shut as he rolled to face the other man. </p><p>it’d been a month since eddie’d officially joined stone, jeff, and mike’s band. they’d even auditioned for their drummer finally, a man called dave kruse, and formed their band ‘mookie blaylock.’ the first show was a little stiffer than expected for eddie, but amazing nonetheless. needless to say temple of the dogs first (and only) show was ethereal, and definitely provided a lot of closure for the rest of the guys.</p><p>eddie looked down at him with a small smile, “you ask me to stay the night here so often i might as well move in.” chris chuckled lightly but didn’t respond, instead just spotted further into the bed and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. eddie scooted down till they were eye to eye, and tossed the blanket across both of them.<br/>
“y’know tomorrow’s thanksgiving,” chris mumbled, his voice muffled from being squished against the pillow. eddie hummed in agreement. “you should stay tomorrow, come cook with me. all the guys will be here, and my mom too.” eddie raised an eyebrow, “serious? you want me to meet your mom?” chris’ lips formed into a small frown and he shrugged, as if to say ‘why not?’ eddie paused for a moment, “you’re gonna need to drop me off at my place though, i need something nice to wear.” chris laughed, “don’t stress, just wear a t-shirt and whatever. it’s not like we’re dating or something.” </p><p>eddie froze, but didn’t say anything. chris flicked the bedside lamp off and pulled eddie in close. eddie laid there limply for a moment, his heart in his stomach at the sentence chris had just spoken. he ignored the comment, chris was right after all.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris stretched his arms above his head tiredly, his sweatshirt lifting just slightly to reveal a strip of pale skin. he yawned and sat beside eddie on the couch. his long sweatpants-clad legs crossed at the ankles as eddie leaned into his side.</p><p>a shitty quality showing of the thanksgiving day parade played on the tv, and eddie’s eyes were glued to the floats drifting by. chris’ arm slid around eddie’s shoulders, “why’re you up so early, angel?” eddie couldn’t bite back the smile at the nickname. “dunno, just couldn’t fall back asleep.” chris smiled and nudged his nose against eddie’s cheek before kissing it. eddie turned to face chris, a small grin curling at the edges of his mouth.</p><p>their lips connected abruptly, and chris leaned into the kiss in a heartbeat. it was slow and innocent, no intentions in mind just kissing till their lips felt bruised. eddie’d practically forgotten about chris’ comment last night.</p><p>the kiss ended a few minutes later, and chris sat up suddenly. he kissed eddies forehead and stood from the couch, “i’m going to go start the turkey.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie kicked his feet as he laughed loudly from his spot sitting on the counter. a cloud of grey smoke billowed from the oven, filling the kitchen to the point where the air was barely breathable. chris pulled out the large foil tray with thick oven mitts, revealing a giant turkey turned a charcoal black. </p><p>“holy shit what’d you do to that thing?” eddie wheezed, attempting to fight back a cough as he furiously waved the smoke away from his face. chris pouted as he tossed it on the counter and threw off his oven mitts. “well there goes my $20 turkey.” eddie giggled, “anything i can do to help?” chris’ head tossed back exasperatedly, “nah it’s alright, i’ll call my mom and have her come over early with a new one.” eddie shot him a sympathetic smile. </p><p>eddie held his arms out, “c’mere loser, stop stressing about it it’ll be alright, i promise. jeff probably couldn’t have told the difference if you hand it to him raw or burnt anyways.” chris laughed and walked up to eddie, looping his arms around the smaller man’s waist. “mmph, i know it’s just my first time doing thanksgiving dinner for everyone so i’m anxious since i can’t cook for shit.” eddie chuckled and kissed the top of chris’ forehead, “it’ll be alright, lets call your mom and figure it out.” </p><p>chris’ mom arrived at the door not even forty minutes later, bags full of groceries in her hands. chris introduced her of course, and eddie awkwardly leaned in for the handshake. “oh don’t be silly,” mrs. cornell spoke, tugging eddie in for a tight hug. chris smiled at the interaction, watching happily as his mom gave eddie the signature “you should really cut your hair, you’ve got such handsome face!” that chris had received a billion times. </p><p>they all walked back into the kitchen and began unloading groceries. “so how’d you two meet?” mrs. cornell spoke happily, beginning to peel the potato in her hand. eddie’s face turned red, looking over to chris for an answer. chris choked for a moment, “we uhm… met at one of my shows!” “oh how fun!” </p><p>the conversation continued on for a while, with chris trying as hard as he could to divert the conversation from he and eddie’s relationship. eddie finally finished off whatever odd mashed potato mix he’d been working on for a while and slid off the counter, walking up to chris who stood beside his mom cooking. </p><p>“hey angel, i’m gonna go steal a shirt; this one’s filthy,” eddie smiled and patted chris’ lower back momentarily before walking off to chris’ bedroom. chris just nodded quietly, then watched eddie walk away with a grimace. </p><p>his mother turned over to him, “is there something going on between you and that boy?” chris’ stirring slowed to a stop, “no mom, he’s just a frie-“ his mom froze in her steps, “don’t lie to me christopher, i’m not an idiot.” chris’ eyebrows furrowed, “i’m a grown man, i seriously don’t think our relationship is any of your business.” she scoffed, “i can’t believe you. i forgave you for bringing that fruit home last time, bu-“ chris cut her off, “can you just drop it?” </p><p>eddie paused in the hallway, his eyebrows furrowed as he overheard the conversation. “no christopher, i won’t ‘just drop it’! i told you my opinion on people like you, and yet you continue to betray me over it repeatedly. i love you as my son, but i won’t be supportive or proud of this side of you whatsoever.” chris laughed, “you’re unbelievable, here i was thinking you could finally be more open-minded. whatever, let’s just get dinner over with and then you can go back to pretending you don’t know me.” </p><p>the kitchen went silent and eddie finally walked back in, his smile from before now gone to a concerned stare. chris flashed him a smile, “hey baby.” his mother loudly scoffed. eddie avoided the glare’s chris’ mother was shooting him.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>the rest of the dinner was alright, save for the few backhanded comments from chris’ mother. eddie couldn’t help but feel disappointed, he wanted so badly to be on mrs. cornell’s good side, but clearly that wouldn’t be anytime soon. having the rest of the bandmates there made it a considerable amount less awkward, but you could still cut the tension with a knife. </p><p>the guests finally piled out of the apartment, leaving chris and eddie sitting in the oddly quiet living room. chris seemed stressed and uncomfortable, a look on his face that was evident he was deep in thought. eddie scooted closer beside him, his hand landing on chris’ knee. </p><p>“hey you alright?” eddie said. chris shook his head. “maybe- maybe you should go. i don’t- i need to be alone for a bit.” eddie’s expression dropped, “oh… uh, okay.” the singer softly spoke and picked up his belongings, tugging his thick coat over the shirt he stole from chris and pulling on his boots, not bothering to lace them up.</p><p>eddie glanced back at chris who sat on the couch still, staring blankly off at the wall opposite of him. eddie left quietly, muttering a small goodbye, and walking out to his car. </p><p>he started up the car, wiped away the tears that began to prickle up in his eyes, and drove home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. song to sing when i’m lonely</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the bottle opener popped loudly as eddie cracked open the bottle of wine, glugging as he poured himself a glass. he brought the glass with him towards the chair by his window and sat down. </p><p>it’d been nearly two weeks since he’d spoken to chris. eddie called maybe ten times to no avail, all just ringing straight to chris’ voicemail. eddie’d gotten sick of it by the time he had to listen to chris’ voice say “hey this is chris, leave a voicemail i’ll call you back as soon as possible.” for what felt like the millionth time. he even considered driving over to chris’ place, but clearly the older singer wasn’t in the mood to speak. </p><p>so here eddie was, drinking his third bottle of wine this week. he wasn’t ‘heartbroken’ per say, no, he’d be too proud to admit that anyways. but eddie sure as hell wasn’t completely honest with himself about his feelings for chris. it’d definitely spiraled past wanting to become officially dating though. the last two weeks had given him more than enough time to think about he and chris’ relationship, and eddie only found him missing the other man more than before.</p><p>eddie took a deep swig of the glass and pushed down the thoughts as the alcohol flooded through his system. a loud knock came from the front door, and eddie jumped at the sudden noise. he sat there for a moment, contemplating whether or not the person at the door would magically go away if he didn’t answer it. </p><p>another loud rapping against the door echoed through the apartment, this one more vehement than the last. eddie groaned and stood up, slamming his glass down on the table a little harder than he should’ve. it was nearly ten o’clock at night, who the hell would be coming over that wouldn’t call first? </p><p>eddie pulled it open tiredly, a deep glare set on his face in expectation of the unannounced visitor. but his look only hardened at the sight.</p><p>“...can i come in?” chris said quietly, his fingers fumbling with the zipper of his jacket as he stood awkwardly. eddie sighed exasperatedly and stepped aside from the door to let chris in.</p><p>“what are you doing here?” eddie shut and locked the door, not bothering to turn to face chris. the singer hesitated at eddie’s harsh tone. “i wanted to apologize.” eddie scoffed, “two weeks later?” “i should’ve come sooner, i’m sorry,” chris’ face was paler than usual, and a light stubble made his cheeks harsh and bristled. </p><p>eddie walker back to his seat under the window, and didn’t say a word. chris cleared his throat, “i- i fucked up i...” eddie shook his head and stood up, not even moments after he’d just sat down. “you fucked up? for heaven’s sake chris, if you needed some time alone that’s fine, but you just ignored me for nearly a damn month. i mean i- i was worried about you, i tried calling but everything went to voicemail. meanwhile jeff and stone say you’ve been just fine and fuckin’ dandy acting like nothing happened.” </p><p>chris swallowed thickly, his tongue felt like it’d somehow expanded in his mouth. “well i mean i just-“ “you just what? you purposely didn’t tell your mom about us so she wouldn’t spend half the dinner calling me a ‘fag’? or you ignored my calls for two weeks just because you’re ashamed of what you are,” eddie spat, his words coming out more hurtful than he intended, but there was no going back now. “but i mean we’re not even dating, so what does it matter, right?” eddie asked sarcastically, his voice had begun to quiver. </p><p>chris opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. eddie was right and he knew it, but chris was far too prideful to truly apologize for it. eddie laughed sardonically, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “i fucking <em>love</em> you chris why would you do that to me? don’t you think i’ve been mocked enough? especially hearing it from your mother of all people?” chris’ eyes widened, the word ‘love’ reverberating through his brain like a loud voice echoing down an empty hall. chris’ voice quiet and soft, “what?” eddie’s face went hot, realizing what exactly he had just said. </p><p>“just go! i don’t want to talk to you right now chris, leave.” chris’ eyebrows furrowed, his eyes watery as he watched eddie reluctantly spin to face away from him, tears streaming down his thick cheekbones. chris did as he was told, stepping out of the warm apartment and back onto the cold street.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this is an incredibly short chapter- the first under 1.2k words in this entire story haha. don’t worry i plan on making up for it in the next one :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. what is this feeling i have in my heart for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris’ car skidded to a halt in front of his apartment, making the tires squeal against the soaked pavement. he didn’t bother to pull into the garage, just sat in the car parked in front of the small courtyard. </p><p>needless to say, his talk with eddie hadn’t gone to plan. his grief poured out in a stream of uncontrollable tears, wetting his already damp shirt. “fuck, i’m such an idiot,” chris whimpered, his head heavily dropping forwards onto the steering wheel. his lip trembled, incoherent curses escaping his mouth as he repeatedly slammed his hands against the side of the steering wheel before he abruptly jerked upwards back into his sitting position. </p><p>a hard knock against the passenger window snapped him out of his haze. “...hey, you alright?” jeff spoke softly from outside the door, his words slightly muffled. he was wrapped in a hoodie and a large blanket to escape the rain that had begun to pour again. </p><p>chris unlocked the car hesitantly and jeff climbed in. “what’s going on?” chris averted his gaze to avoid eye contact, and was staring at the carpet beneath his feet which was stained in years worth of mud and dirt. jeff’s mouth fell to a frown, chris seemed childish and small in the way he practically coiled into himself whenever he was down. </p><p>“can we just go inside?” chris sounded frail but jeff put up no fight, and followed the man back up the courtyard and into his apartment. chris was sniffling the entire time, as if trying to fight back more tears from spilling.</p><p>the singer kicked off his boots and jacket, leaving a small trail of clothes leading back to his bedroom. before jeff had even properly shut the door and made sure chris’ car was locked, he was up to his chin in pale white sheets and his head was buried in a plush pillow.</p><p>jeff walked into the bedroom quietly, his face turned more concerned as he saw chris’ tear-stained cheeks and sunken in eyes. the barista reluctantly sat on the side of the mattress, a concerned expression on his face. “did something happen?” jeff spoke softly, like if he raised his voice too high chris would shatter. </p><p>“i uhm... i really screwed things up with eddie.” jeff winced, he didn’t want to get involved in his friends’ personal relationship but he couldn’t leave chris heartbroken. “i invited him to stay for thanksgiving and before you guys came over my mom did, but... i didn’t tell eddie about all her homophobic shit and she just...” chris trailed off, his bottom lip sticking out in a thick pout as he tried to regain his composure. “she totally went in on him, and eddie must’ve overheard it. she wouldn’t stop calling him all these names the moment anyone else wasn’t around during dinner, and it just... it got to me.” jeff frowned, he knew exactly what chris was leading up to. </p><p>“i asked him to leave after dinner, just so i could think a bit. but my mom’s words kept replaying in my head, about how disgusting i am and how ungodly our relationship is, it sunk right into me and i couldn’t stop myself from thinking what we were doing was disgusting. i- i don’t believe that of course it’s just... it’s my mother you know? moms are supposed to love you unconditionally, so for your mother to say the way that you are is putrid and a sin is a lot.” </p><p>jeff stayed quiet. chris paused for a moment but continued talking. “so i... i pushed eddie away for a while, thought that maybe if i had to be repulsive i could at least save him from it, that he’d be better off alone. but it just... it bit me in the ass jeff. he said he loves me and i feel like i put him through two weeks of self deprecation just for me to end up crawling back like some wounded dog.” chris’ tears felt hot as they rolled down his cheeks, causing dark little spots across his light sheets. “a- and before dinner i made some stupid, <em>stupid</em> comment about how it wouldn’t matter about his impression on my mom because we weren’t dating anyways... and it wasn’t intentional i didn’t want to hurt him i’m just...” the singer rolled onto his back and wiped a tired hand over his face, pushing the hair away as his eyebrows furrowed and his lip began to tremble again. </p><p>“i’m not great at this shit man, i mean i’m so scared of being honest about how much i feel and need for him and then it all going terribly and i’ll have to face the reprecussions. i mean how many times have i seriously dated someone long term? hell jeff, i’m always the one empty-handed on the holidays when my mom asks me when i’m going to bring a ‘beautiful woman’ home.” chris’ hands wiped over his cheeks to rid them of the tears, “i don’t do things like this man, i always talk to someone for a week before i feel like i’ve become too emotionally attached and i need to distance myself all over again. but everything feels so different of eddie, and it terrifies me even more that i’ll hurt him.” jeff was in shock, he wasn’t expecting such a heavy topic out of nowhere. </p><p>“chris... you need to go talk to him,” jeff’s face dropped to a more serious one, and his words came out in more of an order than a suggestion. chris scoffed, “i already tried. i don’t deserve his love, jeff. he was so heartbroken and concerned; he was in tears when i showed up and i just... i can’t do this to him. i already tortured him enough, i know i love him back by now but i can’t put him through all this again.” </p><p>jeff sighed, "i’m going to be honest, man. you fucked up, bad. and i’m not saying any of this to be a dick, i’m trying to be genuinely open and honest. look, you gotta go back and apologize to him. believe me, you have to try again. he was just letting out his feelings and things went a little haywire, but if you really care, and he <em>really</em> loves you, you guys can fix this."</p><p>chris mewled, he knew jeff was right.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. kiss me out of desire, baby, not consolation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris ran his tongue along his lower lip in thought as he held his hand up hesitantly in front of the door, his hand contemplating whether or not to finally just reach forwards and knock. his knuckles brushed against eddie’s front door for a moment, he nearly psyched himself out of it. chris felt the sudden urge to turn around and drive home, but instead he resisted.</p><p>he knocked as he did two days before, only this time he was too worried trying to replay what he was going to say in his head to be worried about how long eddie was taking to open the door. he was soaked from the rain, his curls in stringy strands in front of his face and his thick leather jacket spotted with drops of rainwater. </p><p>a meek “hold on!” came from the other side, along with the loud shifting of something before the door finally opened. chris’ eyes widened at the sight, the small singer standing in a thick hoodie and his hair mangled as if he hadn’t even glanced at a hairbrush in years. his eyebrows furrowed and eyes immediately welled up with tears, his hand already moving to shut the door again before chris has the chance to open his mouth. </p><p>chris intercepted the slam, forcing the door to keep open for a moment. “i’m sorry, i know you don’t want to see or talk to me, but i’d never feel right letting things end like this without getting to tell you why i did what i did.” eddie’s lips pulled into a tight line and he walked away from the door, leaving it open and slouching over to the couch. chris took that as a sign to let himself in, so he did.</p><p>chris stood awkwardly as eddie sat quietly for a moment before chris spoke up. “i wish i could rewind time and completely re-do dinner. i can’t apologize enough about what happened with my mother, she just... used to give me so much shit growing up for who i was attracted to.” chris’ voice faltered for a moment, “i thought i could somehow save you from her constant ridiculing if she knew nothing about us. that was stupid, i shouldn’t have put you in that position. i just had some idiotic dream that maybe you’d get along fantastically with her.  she’d mature and realize how wrong she was, and i could finally have a mother who’d support me. but it was foolish of me to drag you into my naive pipe dream.” </p><p>eddie’s face faltered, an involuntary pout at his lips as his eyes began to water. he tried his best to not be as sympathetic and forgiving as he usually was, but the expression on chris’ face was making it impossible. </p><p>“a- and this is all so weird for me. i feel like there’s something real between us, but everytime i’ve felt connection with someone and pursued it, it gets taken from me. but it’s so different with you, and i’m terrified; of fucking everything up again, of hurting you,” chris’ bottom lip quivered, hot tears spilling down his pale cheeks in thin trails. </p><p>“but i love you, and i don’t want to give up this easily when i know we could have so much more. it’s up to you, if you think otherwise, i respect that too and i’ll never bother you again.” chris swallowed hardly, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he attempted to gauge the expression on eddie’s face. </p><p>eddie stood up abruptly, tip-toed up to chris’ height, wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck. their lips pressed against each other’s deep and slow. eddie nearly sighed into the kiss, the tinge of chris’ pink lips only reddening more as it continued. chris relished in the feeling, he’d missed this so much more in the last month than he’d like to acknowledge. the kiss said more than words could undoubtedly. </p><p>they stood there happily for a few moments, chris’ arms draped around eddies thin waist and lips pressed together adamantly. eventually it broke off and eddie wiped his cheeks clean of tears. “i love you too, but we can’t do this again okay? no more disappearing for weeks on end, no more homophobic moms and non-committal relationships.” chris chuckled weakly and kissed eddies lips again. “promise.” </p><p>“f- fuck sorry you must be freezing, come on,” the smaller man stuttered for a moment, still sniffling loudly. the taller man had been standing in his soaked clothing for at least fifteen minutes, but only now did he notice. chris had a fond smile as eddie walked them back towards his bedroom.</p><p>the room was considerably messier than the last time chris had visited, but he didn’t mention it. eddie rummaged through his closet desperately, before finally pulling out a random band shirt that had been sloppily cut into a muscle tee, and a pair of jean shorts that looked fairly familiar to chris.</p><p>“hey, aren’t those mine?” chris chuckled, pointing towards the pair that looked a considerable amount too large for eddie. eddie’s lips formed into a smile, the first chris had seen from him all day. “you left them here last month,” eddie spoke as he folded them up and tossed them on the bed beside chris. </p><p>“why don’t i remember that? did i go home in my boxers?” chris picked up the shorts with a confused look. eddie snorted, “you got drunk after a show and demanded to come home with me. then you threw up on yourself on the drive home and i had to lend you all new clothes. kim eventually had to come pick you up since i had rehearsal.” </p><p>chris winced, “oh my god, i remember that’s why i woke up that one morning at kim’s apartment with my boots covered in puke.” eddie giggled and walked off towards the bathroom. “you wanna take a shower?” </p><p>“as long as you’re joining me,” chris smirked, he couldn’t have been more happy things were back to normal. he feared after apologizing that things would never be the same, but being back in eddie’s arms made every trace of doubt leave his mind. he had to be the luckiest man on earth for eddie to forgive him with such ease, he could only hope he wouldn’t take advantage of it and end up screwing things up in the future. </p><p>chris’ eyes widened as eddie shrugged off his hoodie, he wasn’t expecting him to agree so easily.  eddie stood shirtless in the doorway, giving chris a questioning look. “what’re you staring at me like that for?” chris shrugged, “nothin’, just missed you.” </p><p>a light pink tinge raised to eddies cheeks, and his lips curled into a smile. he continued undressing, the shower was already hot and had begun to fog up the bathroom. he pulled off his jeans and socks with it, and chris did the same.</p><p>within a few minutes they both stood under the shower head, warm water running over their heads. chris backed up a little, till he was further against the wall and out of the water. his eyes traced eddie’s thick cheekbones and soft skin as water poured down his face.</p><p>“c’mere,” chris spoke softly, grabbing the bottle of shampoo as eddie came closer to him. he softly massaged the shampoo through eddie’s thick curls, making the smaller man sigh in content and lean into chris. chris smiled at the small action, he’d missed this more than he had words for. </p><p>eddie’s head tilted up slightly and his arms wrapped around chris’ bare waist, their lips meeting in yet another kiss. it only lasted a few moments, short and sweet. eddie laid his head back on chris’ chest, and the taller man began to run his fingers through eddie’s tangled curls. </p><p>chris’ eyebrows furrowed as he heard a soft sniffle from eddie. “you okay?” chris pulled eddie away gently. eddie's chin trembled, his teeth softly chewing at his lower lip as he attempted to hold back tears, but he failed. </p><p>he wasn’t sure what exactly triggered it, maybe the overwhelming sadness of the last month, or the sudden rush in emotions from that outburst a few days ago. he’d definitely be lying if he said chris’ words hadn’t made his chest ache as well. </p><p>chris simply tugged eddie in tighter, wrapped his arms around the smaller man, his fingers nimbly detangling the thick mess of knots. eddie’s arms remained tight against chris’ waist, his head pressed against the soft expanse of the other man’s chest. </p><p>chris felt his heart squeeze, guilt seeping in. he’d come to the realization that he must’ve been the cause of this sudden outburst, and of all the emotional drainage he’d pulled him through day after day just because of a stupid guilt his mother had instilled in him. </p><p>eddie's sobs calmed down after a few minutes, leaving him hiccuping and sniffling in the hot steam of the shower. “I’m sorry,” chris muttered, pressing his lips to the top of eddie’s head momentarily. eddie didn’t respond, just nuzzled his head into chris’ chest a little more.  </p><p>chris simpered, his hand affectionately thumbing over the eddie’s damp cheek. “i meant it when i said i love you.” eddie’s lips finally began to curl into a small smile, “i know, i did too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this took so long to post, totally forgot where i was going with it halfway through so i restarted a few times. major writers block lmfao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it was only four days before eddie’s birthday now, december 19th. they sat in chris’ apartment, sprawled out across the carpet of his bedroom floor. an ashtray filled to the brim sat beside them, and a record played quietly in the background. </p><p>chris laid out across the carpet, his head propped up on his hand. eddie was beside him on his back, looking up at chris with a dopey smile. </p><p>“you know i’ve known you for over four months now and you’ve barely talked about san diego, surfer boy,” chris picked a random curl from eddie’s hair, wrapping the strand around his finger and lightly tugging it. eddie giggled, “what do you wanna know?” chris shrugged.</p><p>eddie’s brow furrowed for a moment, “hmm okay how about…” he chewed his bottom lip absentmindedly. “i dropped out of high school.” chris laughed, “me too, loser, you’re not special.” eddie scoffed and chuckled along, “oh whatever. i worked as a security guard in la jolla before i moved here, how’s that?” chris laughed loudly, “a security guard? <em>you?</em> did anyone mistake you for an eight year old who lost his mom?” eddie’s jaw dropped and he playfully shoved chris, “you’re such a meanie, i’m average height asshole.” chris smiled and leaned down, kissing eddie’s nose and cupping his face.</p><p>“i know, i know. i just love teasing you. you have any crazy security guard stories?” eddie let out a puff of air through his nose as a laugh, and shook his head. “it was a hotel and i worked the night shift chris, the most interesting part of my day might’ve been driving home at nine in the morning.” chris just chuckled and stayed quiet for a moment or two.</p><p>“i miss san diego sometimes,” eddie pouted, his hand running over his slightly damp forehead from how warm the room had gotten. chris ran his hand through eddie’s hair again, “mmph, i haven’t been in a while. probably february or something around there.” “the weather here fucking sucks in comparison," eddie sarcastically chuckled, he'd practically give anything for at least a week of sunshine.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie’s mouth curled into a smile as a pair of soft lips pressed against his cheek, nose, chin, trailing down to his neck. his eyes fluttered open, still groggy with sleep. “happy birthday baby,” chris finally separated, his body slightly hovered over the other man’s. eddie myrthed, “thank you very much.” he leaned up, bringing chris in for a kiss. </p><p>“is it too early to give presents?” chris questioned, his smile brightening as eddie’s whole face lit up. “you didn’t have to get me anything, being with you is already enough,” eddie responded. chris rolled his eyes playfully, “oh be quiet you sap. stay here, i’ll be right back.” </p><p>chris returned to the bedroom a moment later, standing with a cardboard rectangular box a few inches taller than himself. eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, “the hell, did you buy me a clone of yourself?” chris laughed “please, you wish. just come here.” eddie slid out of bed as chris placed the box carefully on the floor. </p><p>he cut open the tape with a spare pair of scissors chris handed him, pulling back the cardboard. eddie’s jaw dropped, “shut the fuck up, you didn’t.” a tan wood surfboard sat underneath bubble wrap in the box, a small yin yang logo at the tail of it. </p><p>the board somewhat reminded him of the one he’d had to sell back home, same brand and everything. the money’d help him pay for gas on the drive to seattle, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t regret it at least a little. </p><p>eddie’s heart dropped to his stomach, his fingers running softly over the board. his mind already began to fill with memories of the ocean and the tangy scent of surf wax, and it made his whole body fill with butterflies. he already knew what chris was going to say, there’s no way he’d be surfing in seattle without a wetsuit anyways. </p><p>chris grinned practically ear to ear, “i hope you’re ready for a road trip new years day.” eddie’s face contorted into a happy pout, his eyebrows furrowed. “thank you so damn much,” eddie shot up, wrapping his arms around chris tightly. the other man smiled and kissed the top of eddie’s head. they walked off towards the kitchen, and chris began breakfast.</p><p>chris’ eyebrows furrowed as he tried to scoop the egg shell out of the pan, making eddie laugh even harder. “i told you just because it’s my birthday doesn’t mean i can’t make us breakfast,” the smaller man leaned against the counter. chris pouted, “i wanted to make you breakfast, just let me pretend i’m a good cook for once.” eddie scoffed, “what happened to the flirt chris who groped me in a car? and why has he been replaced with a softie who wants to cook me breakfast?” chris laughed, “oh my god, what do you want? a quickie while our food burns?” </p><p>eddie shrugged, “i mean…” chris rolled his eyes jokingly, “at least wait till we finish breakfast.” the taller singer scraped the sizzling pan with a spatula as the eggs began to coagulate. eddie groaned dramatically, falling back against the counter. chris laughed loudly, “you’re so damn impatient.” “it’s my birthday stop bullying me,” he pouted, his head in his hands as he leaned down against the counter. </p><p>“that’s going to be your excuse for everything today isn’t it?” eddie’s jaw dropped in fake shock, “not true! that is… unless it’s working.” chris laughed and flung a piece of cooked egg at eddie. “ew!” the smaller man pulled the piece of egg from his hair with a disgusted face.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris and eddie sat on the couch quietly, pressed up against each other with ‘princess bride’ playing on the tv. eddie had put up quite a fight to immediately drag them back to chris’ bedroom, but chris being the tease he was of course refused to. </p><p>eddie hadn’t been able to focus on the movie the whole time, too distracted by thoughts racing insanely through his mind. chris’ arm was draped lazily around eddie’s waist, his head on the other’s shoulder. </p><p>a pair of plump lips suddenly brushed against his neck, making eddie stiffly clear his throat. chris continued, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin nonchalantly. eddie squirmed, his mind already running rampantly with ideas. </p><p>chris shifted himself, his body laid atop eddie’s. his lips traveled down to eddie’s collarbone, and the smaller man already began to wriggle under the taller man’s weight. </p><p>his hands tugged at the bottom of eddie’s shirt, and the smaller man arched his back and leaned up to help him take it off. his lips continued their trail downwards, down eddie’s slightly tan, freckled torso. his chest was a tinge pink from how hard he’d been blushing at the skin contact.</p><p>“s- shit chris,” eddie hissed out as the taller man settled between eddie’s legs, lips adamant at his chest still. chris mouthed at a nipple, making eddie’s lips form an ‘o’. chris lowered shuffled back on the couch a bit more till he practically had nowhere to go, just barely low enough to suck at the especially sensitive skin along eddie’s waistband.</p><p>his eyes stared impatiently as chris’ hands finally reached to unbutton chris’ shorts. eddie whimpered, he already heavily anticipated  what chris was going to do.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>“stop filling up my glass, are you just trying to get me drunk again?” eddie giggled as chris filled the glass up to the top. they were sat in their living room now, the sun set not too long ago. they’d eaten out at a decent restaurant, and hit up a grocery store while tipsy. which of course resulted in them coming home with bags full of things they never would’ve even given a second glance to while sober. </p><p>chris laughed loudly, “shut up, i need to be more tipsy to let you brush my hair anyways.” eddie pouted, “i just wanna braid your hair, it’s so pretty.” chris blushed, a reaction he’d usually never have if not for the alcohol. </p><p>“okay, come on, we have to put these face masks on,” chris stood up from the carpeted floor and walked off clumsily to their bathroom.</p><p>chris pulled his hair up into a tight bun at the top of his head and grabbed the tube of product. “c- can you do my hair too?” eddie stuttered, wiping his mouth absentmindedly as he watched the taller man pull his hair up perfectly. chris laughed and let out a small, “yeah, c’mere,” in response. </p><p>a few minutes later they both stood in front of the mirror, hesitant to finally apply the face mask. “why does it look like that?” eddie’s face contorted as chris squeezed out the scarily vibrant blue liquid. </p><p>chris applied it to his face with a disgusted expression, eddie doing the same. “ew oh my god, chris! it’s so sticky,” eddie gagged jokingly, his tongue sticking out. “oh whatever, its not like its the first time you’ve had something wet and sticky running down your face.” eddie’s jaw dropped, “you are fucking disgusting!” chris was wheezing at this point, “that’s not what you were saying earlier!” </p><p>a few minutes later they ended up in their previous spot of the living room, wine glasses back in hand. “wait what the fuck is that? is that wax?” chris’ words slurred a little, but not enough to the point where he sounded drunk. eddie laughed in the way you could tell he had something devious planned.</p><p>“yeah, haven’t you ever shaved your legs out of curiosity before?” chris’ eyebrows raised, “no? have you?” eddie laughed awkwardly, “no… what?” the wax strips heated up as eddie warmed them in his hands. chris winced as eddie placed the strip on his incredibly hairy leg.<br/>
“you’re not going to tear that off, are yo-“ chris’ words were cut off as eddie pulled it off abruptly. “son of a fucking bitch!” chris cursed loudly. “what are we even doing this for?” eddie gave him a smirk, “you know i found a skirt in your closet earlier.” chris’ eyebrows furrowed, “stop oh my god, i only have that from when they made me and matt dress up in drag as a joke for kim’s birthday.” “oh don't be such a shithead, it is still my birthday y'know,” eddie giggled at the thought of chris wearing a skirt to dinner. chris shook his head, “i’ll think about it… but i’m wearing shorts underneath and you better not try to wax the rest of my legs.”</p><p>eddie laughed maniacally, “oh my god this is absolutely my best birthday ever.” chris scoffed, “something tells me christmas is going to be much worse.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry i'm not happy with this chapter so i rewrote it a few times, plus haven't had much time to write lately.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. ugly saying, flat out fucked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>new years eve was boring to say the least, eddie spent the entire day working. of course they’d gotten invited to a party that night, but eddie’d spent the whole thing sipping on a beer in the corner till the clock struck twelve and he could go home. </p><p>christmas wasn’t as bad, chris’ mom luckily hadn’t been invited. all of the pearl jam and soundgarden guys came over the night before, spending it getting drunk and binge watching shitty christmas movies. they didn’t wake up till nearly noon the following day, and everyone just shared a few stupid gifts since none of them exactly had the cash to be spending willfully. </p><p>so it was finally new years day now, and the record shop had closed and given him off the next few days. they were seven hours into the drive now, another thirteen left. eddie’s surfboard was strapped to the ceiling of chris’ truck, their luggage in the trunk. </p><p>“mph my legs hurt,” eddie whimpered tiredly, his legs stretched as far as they could be in the confines of the small passenger seat. chris sucked his bottom lip into his mouth absentmindedly, “we just stopped for lunch an hour ago, babe.” </p><p>eddie stared out the window, “i know, i’m sorry.” chris’ hand landed on eddie’s thigh, reassuringly rubbing his thumb back and forth. “it’s alright, we can stop for the night in a few more hours.” eddie laced his fingers with chris’ and leaned against his shoulder. </p><p>the smaller man fell asleep after not long, his body was definitely in desperate need of rest. he must’ve fallen asleep around two in the morning after the party that night, and chris woke him up to leave just after six. </p><p>he promised eddie he’d be able to sleep on the way there, but the shorter singer was too swept up in trying to organize chris’ cd storage case to make the time pass by. he wasn’t asleep long anyways.</p><p>around two hours later eddie woke, his eyes squinted tight as he tried to rub the sleep out of them. chris looked over with a sickeningly sweet smile, an expression of admiration over his face. </p><p>“hey love, we’re just about three hours out before we’ll stop for the night.” eddie nodded quietly, his hand clasped over his mouth. chris’ eyebrows furrowed, “are you okay?” eddie shook his head, the loud sound of a muffled gag coming from behind his hand.</p><p>the slap of nausea hit him out of nowhere, the feeling of bile threatening to creep up his throat immediately. it was easily the last thing he was expecting, he hadn’t gotten carsick from a long road trip in years. </p><p>chris’ eyes widened, he had absolutely no idea what to do. the gagging continued and chris tried his best to pull over to the side of the highway as quickly as he could. “shit shit shit,” chris muttered frantically as he glanced around the car worriedly for a bag or something he could use so eddie wouldn’t spew all over his car. </p><p>the passenger door swung open and eddie dry heaved against the damp pavement of the side of the freeway. chris leaned over the center console of the car and held eddie’s hair back for him.</p><p>the rest of the drive was luckily a lot smoother, and once eddie felt better they ended up at a small motel in a town called sacramento. </p><p>the city was bleak and definitely not where eddie hoped to be at the end of the day, but there was no way he’d be able to make it through another eight hours of driving.</p><p>chris lugged their bags up into their motel room, where eddie was laid across the bed tiredly clutching his stomach. </p><p>“you feeling any better?” chris leaned over and brushed eddie’s hair out of his face. eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes screwed shut, “the nausea went away but my stomach just keeps aching. i’m sorry i couldn’t help carry our stuff up.” chris gave a sympathetic smile, “it’s okay. just rest, i’ll come lay with you in a minute.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>the drive the following day seemed much shorter, and eddie couldn’t deny that the drive was absolutely worth it. </p><p>it was nearing six pm and the sun was setting as they arrived at the house. eddie’s jaw dropped at the sight, a quaint dark wood house just a block away from the beach. it was small, glass windows facing out towards the street and a small grassy yard in front of a porch just large enough for two chairs. </p><p>the porch was slightly sloped and the wood panels on the outside had begun to lighten and fade from the sun, but it was more than perfect to eddie. “you like it? it’s ours till friday.” eddie’s face practically melted. “it’s beautiful chris.” </p><p>they ventured into the house, chris unlocking it with a key the landlord left under the mat. eddie dropped his suitcase at the entry, then walked off to explore the house. his disembodied voice came from another room, “how did you find this place? it’s beautiful.” </p><p>the house was a bit dated, probably hadn’t been renovated since the seventies. but eddie absolutely wasn’t one to complain. chris followed eddie into the bedroom, seeing the shorter man standing at the window with a beautiful view out towards the beach which you could just barely see between the tree line.</p><p>“i phoned a friend i have down here, jack irons, who scored the spot for us.” eddie’s face pulled into a tight smile, “can we go see the beach?” chris smiled, “yeah of course. you wanna bring your board?” eddie agreed in a split second.</p><p>a bit later they both finally made it to the sand, eddie excitedly standing in his surf trunks with his brand new board under his hand. </p><p>“go get in the water, babe. i know you’ve been waiting for this for ages,” chris giggled at the excited look on eddie’s face, like a child in a candy store. eddie pouted, “come with me first.” chris grimaced, he wasn’t exactly a fan of the ocean. “it’s alright, i’ll stay here. go have fun!”</p><p>eddie definitely wouldn’t give in that easy. he placed the board down on the sand and reached down to where chris sat on a towel on the sand, and tugged the taller man up with ease. </p><p>“oh my god screw you and your muscles,” chris joked as he tried to regain his balance. eddie smirked, “you love ‘em, don’t lie.” chris rolled his eyes, “i swear we’ve spent too much time together, you’re becoming me.” </p><p>chris winced as his feet finally hit the water, it was a million times colder than he was expecting. he’d guessed it would’ve been much warmer at least, considering it was california after all, but he was definitely proven wrong. </p><p>eddie stepped in with ease, as if he was used to the ocean already. he tugged chris in more with him, till he was nearly up to his hips and chris just at his thighs. </p><p>“holy s- shit i’m going to freeze my fucking balls off-“ chris hissed, squeezing eddie’s hand tightly. eddie just chuckled, “the quicker you go in, the faster you’ll get used to it.” chris’ eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulled into a dramatic frown.</p><p>“ed, i don’t wanna,” chris whined, already trying to pull from eddie’s grip. the shorter man tried his best to not laugh. “i think you’re right about that thing about us being together too much, when did you become so cowardly, cornell?” </p><p>chris gave him that knowing look, “oh don’t use my own joke on me. that’s fuckin’ treason, i’m supposed to be the one talking you into doing things.” eddie choked out a laugh, “you’re making yourself sound bad. just come further into the water, wimp.” </p><p>chris rolled his eyes and finally stepped in further, his whole body tensing up once the water hit his bare chest. eddie brought him in close, their chests pressed up against each others and his arms around chris’ slick waist. </p><p>chris shivered in his grasp, his arms draped around eddie’s neck. “this is so unfair, i’m supposed to be the one that’s used to the cold,” chris joked playfully. eddie shrugged, “been surfing for a while. i’m definitely more used to being out here in a wetsuit though.”</p><p>“alright loser, you’ve had enough time, i’m gonna go back to the sand,” the taller man spoke sweetly, pecking eddie’s forehead and slipping from his grip. eddie tried to convince him to stay for a bit longer, but eventually followed him to shore to get his board.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie must’ve been in the water for an hour, maybe two, he wasn’t sure. his hair was nearly crunchy with salt water, his eyes stinging just slightly, his skin a tinge pink from the warm sun. it was colder considering the fact that it was january, but the sun beat down on his now pale skin nonetheless. </p><p>his board floated calmly beside him as he drifted in the cold water. the beach was practically empty, and eddie couldn’t help but revel in the feeling. the waves were hitting a little harsher than he was used to, but nothing he couldn’t deal with by floating further out to swim into the calm. </p><p>eddie’s eyes were glued to the shore, a soft smile on his face at chris lounging out across the sand with a pair of sunglasses on. the singer propped himself up on his elbows, squinting out towards the water with his signature smile as he spotted eddie.</p><p>eddie couldn’t comprehend what chris was yelling before a wave suddenly crashed over him, sending him tumbling beneath the water. his heart pounded in his chest as he was thrown under, his eyes struggling to open in the saltwater. he finally came to, realizing he was still stuck under the water despite the ankle leash attached to his board which was trying (and failing) to tug him back up above the water. </p><p>eddie panicked, out of breath, and his other ankle trapped under something he couldn’t quite tell. a harsh rip curl sucked him under again, right as he’d finally been able to make out what was keeping him stuck under the water. his ankle was harshly ripped from between the rocks by his board getting pushed by another wave. </p><p>it sent him tumbling forwards again, now completely out of air and already dazed from being tossed around once. an influx of water rushed up his nose, causing him to accidentally swallow it. he choked harshly under the water, struggling to push himself up to the surface.</p><p>suddenly he was pulled above the water, met by a familiar face. chris wrapped his arms around the smaller man, carrying him forwards with his board to the shore. </p><p>eddie seemed dazed, still coughing to the point where chris thought he’d hack out a lung. chris sat him down gently on the shore, repeatedly saying eddie’s name as his shaky hands fumbled to unwrap his surfboard leash. </p><p>eddie abruptly rolled onto his side, coughing into the sand till he began to gag. chris rubbed eddie’s back, unsure of what to do. eddie gagged out a considerable amount of water, before rolling back onto his back. </p><p>chris helped sit up eddie slightly, his hands carefully pulling eddie’s soaked hair away from his face. “are you okay?” chris questioned, concern evident in his voice. eddie’s eyes were squinted but finally open. he attempted to speak, but his voice just came out as a croak. </p><p>chris stuttered, struggling to speak with how concerned and clueless he was. “i… i have water hold on, hold on.” eddie nodded with a loud cough as chris hurried off to their small spot on the beach. </p><p>he returned moments later with a bottle of water, holding it up to eddie’s sand-covered lips. the smaller man chugged it gratefully. chris’ eyes widened, “shit, shit, your ankle’s bleeding everywhere.” eddie sat himself up a bit more, to look down at the cut. </p><p>it wasn’t terrible, he’d had worse from surfing previously, but of course chris was flipping his shit from the amount of blood. eddie cleared his throat, but his voice was still dry and pained, “it’s okay, i’ll just wrap it once we get back to the house.” chris’ face scrunched up, but he couldn’t argue. </p><p>“are you sure it’s alright? we can go to the hospital eddie, that cut looks deep,” chris glanced down at the blood which had began to seep into the sand, and it nearly made him nauseous. eddie nodded and brushed him off, “i just want to go back to the house.” chris couldn’t help but feel guilty for being the reason eddie was out in the water in the first place, but he reluctantly agreed and drove them back to the beach house.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>are these chapters sucking or something my interaction on chapters has gone down tons lmfao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. all the stars were just like little fish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>eddie sat on the couch in the living room of their beach house, his eyes practically boring a hole into the tv screen. chris had made him take a day off to sit around and let his ankle heal with the promise that they’d go over to the beach first thing the next day.</p><p>chris had just left for the store an hour or so ago, saying he needed to pick up some things and he’d be back soon. but of course it’s chris, so soon could mean anywhere from five minutes to two hours. eddie’d been checking his watch incessantly, he was bored out of his mind and the house had been stripped of anything entertaining other than the television, even books and magazines.</p><p>he considered limping his way to the fridge to retrieve a beer, but chris of course made him promise to not get off the couch unless he absolutely needed to. plus, he couldn’t risk making the slight purple bruising worsen if he got hurt trying to get up. so he was stuck on the couch, ankle under a bag of peas that must’ve been sitting in the freezer since 1978, and a show he paid no attention to on the tv.</p><p>his eyes glued to the front door, hoping somehow if he believed it hard enough that the tall brunette would saunter back in the door that moment, a big smile on his face and grocery bags in his hands. eddie nearly flinched back a moment as he heard the familiar whir of chris’ car pulling into the driveway. he smiled to himself at the glimpse of chris walking up to the front door from the small window beside it. almost as if his thoughts had worked.</p><p>the singer walked in through the door, a smile forming on his lips as he locked eyes with eddie. his hair was slightly frizzy from whipping around in the wind outside, his cheeks a slight tinge of pink. he placed two full bags on the kitchen counter and walked over to eddie.</p><p>“hey hot stuff, how you feelin’?” chris asked sweetly, leaning down to kiss eddie. eddie smiled into the kiss, chris’ slight mustache brushing at his skin. it hadn’t grown out enough to be considered a full mustache, but it was definitely on it’s way. eddie shrugged, “i’m alright, the bruising already went down a lot.” </p><p>chris nodded as he unloaded the groceries, “good, good. you can still walk on it right?” “yeah, it’s really not bad. i’ll probably be fine to get back in the water tomorrow as long as i keep the cuts covered.” chris looked skeptical but didn’t argue, it wasn’t eddie’s first injury so he sure knew a whole lot more anyways. </p><p>“i found some of that liquid bandage stuff you were talking about,” chris spoke from the kitchen and eddie gave him a nod. “thanks,” he responded quietly, deciding to watch the taller man pace around the kitchen putting away groceries rather than the tv on six feet away from him.</p><p>chris smirked, still faced away from eddie. “like what you see?” eddie’s lips fought back a sly smile, “how’d you know i was even looking at you?” chris placed the final item in a cabinet and turned around with a shrug, “i could feel it.” eddie smiled toothily, a slight blush on his face. “that’s bullshit, you can’t feel someone looking at you.” chris kicked off his boots and walked over to eddie.</p><p>“why are you so sarcastic, huh?” chris leaned over eddie on the couch, crawling on his two hands till the smaller man was laid down on his back, head against the arm rest. eddie darted his tongue out over his bottom lip with a mischievous smile, his shoulders poorly shrugging as chris hovered over him. </p><p>their lips met, moving softly against each other’s. eddie smiled into the kiss and chris backed away slightly, “what’s so funny?” eddie leaned up to press back into the kiss, “nothing.” chris raised an eyebrow and backed up more, a teasing expression across his face. </p><p>“oh really?” chris spoke, his lanky leg lifting to straddle eddie. eddie smirked, “are you trying to crush me?” chris sat up shocked, “to think i was going surprise you tonight.” eddie’s face melted, “i’m kidding, i’m kidding.” chris pouted and backed up, “nope, you broke my heart, the surprise is ruined.” </p><p>eddie’s face formed a frown, his arms reaching to chris’ hands to tug him back down, “i’m sorryyy.” chris finally broke a smirk and leaned down, breaking his hands from eddie’s grip to tickle the other man.</p><p>his fingers mercilessly dug into eddies trim waist, making the smaller man squirm. “f- fhhaahah, chris stop!” eddie struggled to keep his hurt ankle still, his arms already trying to push chris off him. chris laughed at eddie’s red face, “i’m sorry, what was that?” the smaller man’s laugh had turned to wheezes, his hips buckling up in the air in a failed attempt to squirm away from chris.</p><p>the taller singer finally stopped his merciless tickling on eddie’s torso, “so i suppose you want to know your surprise now?” eddie’s lips tried to fight back a smile, “maybe.” chris shrugged nonchalantly and moved to get off of eddie, but ed grabbed him before i could move. “okay, okay, what is it?” </p><p>“well, i got us some charcoal and some hot dogs and stuff, i figured we could go barbecue on the beach tonight.” eddie’s eyes lit up, “man, i haven’t had a bonfire on the beach since i was like 20.” </p><p>“maybe we could even stay the night, bring some blankets and pillows,” chris offered, his hands absentmindedly trying to detangle his curls. eddie grinned, “i’d love to.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris tossed another log onto the pile, and patted his pockets for his lighter. eddie sat on the sand beside him, a towel beneath him and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. his eyes were glued to the ocean, completely oblivious to the taller man in front of him. </p><p>chris finally started a small bonfire. “wooo, i finally fuckin’ got it!” chris laughed happily at the growing fire, his arms raised above his head in triumph. eddie looked over at him with a giggle, “good, i was beginning to think i’d starve.” the taller man rolled his eyes and took a seat next to eddie. “oh whatever princess, not like you could do any better,” he poked a metal stick through the hot dog and held it over the fire. </p><p>eddie rolled his eyes jokingly and leaned into chris. chris’ free arm looped around eddie’s shoulders, his lips against the other man’s temple. eddie turned to face him with a small smile, pressing a gentle kiss against chris’ lips. chris deepened it, returning the kiss a little more fervently than before. the shorter man backed away, his lips moving to brush against chris’ ear. </p><p>“your food’s burning,” eddie whispered and chris separated quickly, pulling the burning hot dog from the fire. ed laughed hysterically, “fuck we’re lucky you brought that bag of chips too.”  chris shoved eddie playfully, “oh be quiet, this is why we can’t have nice things.” eddie’s laugh only intensified, “that doesn’t even make any sense!”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>the moon reflected against the water, making the waves glimmer at night. chris wrapped his arm around eddie’s small frame, “what’re you thinking about?”his nose nuzzled into eddie’s thick mane of hair. “i wish we could swim.” chris raised an eyebrow, “who said we couldn’t?” eddie backed up to look at him, “seriously? i don’t have a suit or anything though.” chris smirked and stood up, an amused look on his face as he watched eddie’s expression. he peeled his jacket and shirt off, his body trying it’s best to resist shriveling up at the cold. </p><p>“oh my god, you better not be doing what i think you’re doing,” eddie responded, standing up awkwardly as he watched chris unbutton his shorts. chris shrugged and tossed his shorts over at eddie. “join me, wimp.” eddie hesitated, “i don’t know chris, its cold-“ </p><p>chris’ full bottom lip stuck out into a pout, already making eddie melt the same way he had first looking at eddie in that shitty club when they initially met. chris walked up to the smaller man, still in his boxers, and wrapped his arms around his neck. “you sure you don’t wanna join me? its totally up to you, baby.” his voice was low and practically hypnotic to eddie.</p><p>“man the effect you have on me is so damn unfair,” eddie giggled and shrugged off his jacket and shirt. chris’ face seemed satisfied, “i really do have a way with words.” his voice dripped with sarcasm and it made eddie scoff. “oh shut up and just get in the water before i reevaluate, dumbass.”</p><p>they ended up in the water a few minutes later, drifting in the freezing cold ocean in their boxers. “i can’t feel my legs,” eddie giggled, his arms wrapped tightly around his bare torso. chris pulled him in tight, “hmph, maybe i should warm you up.” eddie chuckled, “and you try to accuse me of being constantly horny!” chris laughed loudly, “oh shut up, your boxers turned see-through in the water, what else was i supposed to be thinking?” eddie’s jaw dropped, “you fuckin’ perv!” </p><p>“whatever, you should’ve known that by now,” chris’ six-foot-three frame shook with mirth at eddie’s expression. “you’re lucky i love you,” eddie wrapped his arms around chris’ waist, and chris’ head leaned down. </p><p>they kissed in the water for a while, softly rocking with the freezing cold waves. normally they both would’ve been shivering and crouched up on the sand, as close to the fire as possible, but they’d both become adjusted to the water fairly quickly. not like there was much of a choice anyways, chris had dragged him into the water half-naked before he even had the chance to say he was cold. </p><p>“wanna head back to the sand?” chris murmured, his damp lips against eddie’s neck. his lips stung from the saltwater, and his hair had begun to feel like a wet mop against his back. eddie nodded, “mhm.” </p><p>they sat back by the bonfire, eddie huddled over in a towel trying his hardest to warm up. chris sauntered back from his car, now dressed in dry shorts but still shirtless. a pack of beer in one hand, and something wet in his other hand. </p><p>“more beer? i’m alre-“ eddie’s words were cut off by something wet and cold landing across his face, and chris’ hysterically laughing. eddie peeled it off his face with disgust, and held it out in front of him. “did you just throw your boxers on my face?” chris shrugged and sat down on a towel beside eddie, “maybe.” </p><p>“you’re fucking disgusting,” eddie laughed, slinging the wet underwear back at chris. chris caught it one-handed, “not like it’s the first time you’ve had your face in my boxers.” eddie flipped him off promptly, but chris only giggled more in response. </p><p>eddie stood up and wrapped his towel around his waist, wandering aimlessly around their little camp set up in search of his shorts. he poorly wiggled out his wet boxers from underneath. “what’re you doing? no one else is here!” chris called out as he watched eddie try to get dressed. “that doesn’t mean i wanna be butt ass naked! what if there’s someone here we can’t see or- or if someone pulls up and i don’t have time to get dressed,” eddie responded, his low voice resonating over the sound of waves crashing. </p><p>eddie waddled over to chris as he pulled his shorts up beneath his towel. chris got his usual mischievous smile as eddie walked over. “what are you up to?” eddie raised an eyebrow, his movements pausing. chris smiled and reached out to grab eddie’s towel, but the smaller man jerked away before he could tug it off. </p><p>this of course started a race down the beach, eddie running and laughing maniacally with his hands gripping onto his towel and shorts for dear life, chris hot on his trail. chris of course being taller eventually caught up, and tugged eddie’s towel like his life depended on it. </p><p>just eddie’s head turned to face chris, who was clapping and laughing loudly at his success. “read all about it, famous mookie blaylock singer naked on san diego beach!” chris bellowed. eddie stood embarrassedly trying to zip up his shorts. </p><p>chris’ laughter died down after a few moments, “aw babe, did i embarrass you?” he wrapped his arms around eddie’s bare waist now that he’d finally pulled his bottoms back up. eddie stayed quiet, his face hot. chris pouted, “i’m sorry, you know i love teasing you. there’s no one around anyways.” eddie tried to fight back his laugh he had for the last few moments, but he couldn’t resist. “oh my god, you little asshole,” chris responded, beginning to pepper eddie’s face and neck with relentless kisses. </p><p>“c- c’mon let’s go back to the fi- fire,” eddie tried to speak, but giggles broke up his sentences. chris hummed in dismay, his lips beginning to suck softly against eddie’s tanned neck. his hand trailed up to eddie’s peck, and then the other man finally broke away. </p><p>“everything alright?” chris’ tone softened a lot more than before, his nimble fingers tucking eddie’s hair behind his ear. eddie nodded, “mhm, i just wish we had an air mattress or something to throw in the bed of your truck.” chris raised an eyebrow suggestively and eddie smacked his chest. </p><p>“i mean to sleep in, so we wouldn’t have to lay in the sand. jesus, you’re disgusting,” eddie laughed loudly at chris’ fake annoyance. “oh whatever, it’s not like i’d try to make a move anyways, i have sand in places where it shouldn’t be right now,” chris squirmed uncomfortably pulling down the legs of his shorts to bring them down a little. </p><p>“you’re such a baby,” eddie giggles and unwrapped himself from chris. he made his way back to the bonfire and picked up his blanket. the fire had already sizzled down to a few small sparks, leaving a thick trail of smoke mixing in with the harsh saltwater-scented winds. </p><p>the pair stumbled back to chris’ car under the moonlight, losing their footing in the sand constantly. chris jumped into the bed of the truck with a loud thud, “oof, my ass is going to be bruised after that.” eddie shook his head with a smile and carefully slid into the back instead. they had a thick stack of blankets over them and a few beneath, as well as a good amount of pillows behind them. </p><p>they laid back in the truck, eddie’s head resting on chris’ chest. “i missed this more than words can express, thanks for taking me here chris,” eddie murmured, just loud enough for chris to hear. chris smiled happily in response and leaned down to kiss eddie’s forehead. “of course angel, anything for you.” </p><p>eddie’s eyes were glued to the beautiful sky above him, his mind intent on finding as many constellations as possible. chris’ hands ran through his coarse hair, which was quickly lulling eddie to sleep. his eyes got heavy, unable to focus on the stars above him anymore. not much later, they were both dead asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter fuckin sucked, i’m out of inspiration and have no motivation to write either sorry :( i’ll continue to update but chapters might be posted a bit slower</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. human sin couldn't stir a fire in me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for any typos im posting this half asleep- hope y'all enjoy more smut and chris being a dumbass per usual</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris winced as he tugged another finger through his insanely tangled curls, they’d been unwashed for what seemed like days now. it was their last night at the beach house, they’d spent the entire day tanning (or more so burning) under the scorching sun, swimming in the cold ocean. mudhoney was in town for the next two days, so chris surprised eddie with tickets to their first show that night. </p><p>he had on a loose green blouse, unbuttoned down to mid-chest since his whole torso was nicely sunburnt. eddie’d teased him endlessly for it, chris definitely wasn’t tanning as easily as he used to as a teen. eddie on the other hand was of course freckled and sun-kissed, he desperately needed the sun he’d been missing living in seattle. </p><p>chris gave up the fruitless effort of detangling his curls and let them drop to his sides on the bed. his eyes were lazily following eddie around the bedroom as the smaller singer dressed. eddie bent over to rummage through his suitcase for a pair of shorts, but it seemed that every pair he found were dirty.</p><p>eddie shot up as chris wolf-whistled loudly, a smirk on his face at eddie’s expression. “don’t look at me like that,” chris laughed loudly at eddie’s glare, which of course turned into a giggle moments later. he held his arms out towards eddie, and the brunette reluctantly walked toward him. </p><p>chris pulled him onto the bed, trying his best not to wince at his terrible sunburn. eddie leaned down to kiss him, his hands on either side of chris to hover over the taller man. chris ran his tongue along eddies bottom lip, coaxing eddie to open his mouth. the kiss deepened, chris’ hands moving to grab eddie’s hips. the smaller man separated for a moment, a line of spit falling from his lip which he quickly wiped away with the back of his hand. </p><p>chris waited no time to trail his lips down to eddie’s jaw line, his newly grown slight mustache tickling eddie’s skin. “chris…” eddie trailed off, his eyebrows furrowed. the taller man mumbled a small “mhm?” but continued his kissing. “w- we’re gonna be late,” eddie responded, his grip on the sheets beneath them tightening as chris ran his fingertips up his back. chris leaned back for a moment, his lips red and swollen from the incessant kissing. </p><p>“mudhoney’s doing home shows next month, we can always see them once we get back to seattle.” eddie hesitated, “…true.” chris smiled and leaned back up to continue the kiss. chris pulled eddie over to straddle him, and trailed his hands up to his slim waist. </p><p>the kiss deepened and eddie placed his hand on chris’ chest. small whimpers left eddie’s lips as chris began to grind his hips up. the taller man smirked into the kiss, his hips rocking harder than before. a soft moan rose from eddie as he separated from the kiss. his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips softly parted. chris unwrapped his hands from eddie’s waist and began to tug at the elastic of his boxers. </p><p>“let me get these off of you,” chris mumbled, waiting for eddie to move off of him. eddie fumbled to roll off of him, making chris giggle, and began to tug off his own boxers but chris stopped him. </p><p>chris leaned over eddie, his plump lips trailing wet kisses down his torso. his mouth made its way to his nipple, and eddie’s back arched a bit. chris circled his tongue around it, relishing in the sounds eddie made before continuing. “you’re so gorgeous,” chris mumbled, his lips continuing their trail of kisses from eddie’s sternum and down. eddie’s face flushed red, “stop it.” chris’ lips curled into a smile, “uh-uh.” he sucked a tender spot just above the waistband of eddie’s underwear. </p><p>“fuck,” eddie hissed, his thighs tensing up underneath chris. the other man ran his hand up eddie’s thigh, fingertips edging under the fabric. he pulled the thin layer of fabric down achingly slow, and eddie became impatient just before chris tossed them somewhere across the bedroom.</p><p>eddie watched as chris unbuttoned his own blouse, the tension bubbling up in his stomach as he became fretful. chris leaned back over eddie to kiss him, completely ignoring the other’s hard-on that pressed against his stomach. eddie whimpered into the kiss, desperate for contact, and decided to take matters into his own hands. he tugged at the black sweatshorts chris wore, pulling down the elastic waistband without breaking the kiss. </p><p>eddie’s brow furrowed as chris separated to pull his shorts off the rest of the way. “why don’t you have any boxers on?” the taller brunette shrugged with low chuckle, “honestly i forgot to pack underwear, i’ve been washing the same pair and stealing yours all week.” eddie laughed, his face still red and his eyes glued to chris’ figure knelt on the bed in front of him. “no wonder my underwear’s been going missing,” eddie responded and chris just smiled slyly and leaned back over him. </p><p>chris kissed eddie’s lips for a moment before returning his fervent kissing at eddie’s lower stomach. “chris,” eddie had become querulous and impatient, his voice whiny. chris’ chuckled in response, his warm breath fanning against eddie’s skin. </p><p>the taller man finally lowered, his lips placing a soft kiss at the bend of eddie’s inner thigh. eddie’s head pressed back into the pillow, trying his best not to squirm under the heat of chris’ touch. chris’ mouth finally wrapped around the head of eddie’s dick. </p><p>his lips made any worry leave eddie’s mind. “ah-hh… s- sshit chris,” the smaller singer mewled, his back arching. chris ran his tongue underneath eddie’s length, his mouth sliding up and down slowly. “faster, ple- please,” eddie swallowed thickly, his words slurred and incoherent. chris complied, and eddie’s hips bucked up at the movement. chris moaned, practically giving eddie unspoken permission to thrust deeper. a low groan escaped eddie’s lips at the sensation, that familiar feeling bubbling up in his stomach. </p><p>his hand slipped into the taller singer’s thick head of curls, pushing his head down further. chris’ jaw relaxed and eddie’s dick slipped down the other man’s throat, not even so much as a sputter from chris. “i’m close,” eddie hissed, his hips stuttering upwards before finally spilling into chris’ mouth.</p><p>chris swallowed and pulled off of eddie, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. chris leaned back over eddie’s slightly shaking body, and began to kiss his neck. eddie whimpered at the oversensitivity, and slightly nudged chris off him. chris landed beside eddie on the bed with a slight oof.</p><p>the smaller man rolled over to face him. chris ran his hands through eddie’s tangled hair, “we should get dressed, love.” eddie shook his head and leaned in for a kiss. “mmph just a few more minutes,” eddie’s hand landed on chris’ bare chest, fingers trailing down mindlessly as they kissed. chris moaned softly into the kiss as eddie’s hand brushed against his erection. the shorter brunettes hand grabbed chris’ member, thumb running over the tip. </p><p>chris’ hips buckled at the sensation, breaking off from the kiss to watch eddie’s hand movements. eddie abruptly began to suck at chris’ neck and collarbone, his hand moving faster as chris’ curses and whines grew. “uh-hh…  fuck, baby,” the taller man groaned, his hand gripping at the white pillow beneath his head. it wasn’t much longer till chris came, a shaky moan escaping his lips. </p><p>“jesus christ,” chris sighed breathily, a slight giggle to his voice. the smaller man leaned in for a quick kiss, but chris pulled him back in as he tried to separate. “i can’t believe we have to drive home tomorrow,” eddie mumbled sadly against chris’ lips. “we can always travel somewhere new after you get back from tour, you leave july 9th and theres two month gap in august before i have to go back out,” chris responded, running his hand through eddie’s slightly damp hair.</p><p>“true, but you’ve got those home shows in september,” eddie pouted, the thought of chris having to leave in october to tour broke his heart. </p><p>the whole situation made eddie’s head hurt, 1991 had barely just began and he was already planning the next year of his life. he decided to just be thankful he didn’t have any shows for another six months, just a short tour on the east coast to test out some songs and get a feel of what it would be like touring as a band for the first time.</p><p>the smaller man shook his head, it was all too much and the thought that there was a possibility of the band going on a full eight month tour terrified him. </p><p>“you alright?” chris mumbled, his eyebrows furrowed with concern at the spaced-out look on eddie’s face. eddie snapped out of his thoughts and gave a small reassuring smile, “yeah, yeah of course. let’s get dressed, loser. i’m sure mark’s gonna want to hangout after the show.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris belched loudly as he slammed down his last beer. “ew chris, you’re nasty,” eddie drunkenly giggled, slapping his boyfriend on the shoulder as he did so. “oh whatever, that was a… g- good one,” chris stuttered, wiping his wet upper lip with the back of his leather jacket sleeve. eddie leaned into the taller man, who had his arm around his shoulders, a bubbly smile across his alcohol-flushed cheeks.</p><p>they were sat on a huge couch in the back room of the venue, a drunk matt lukin passed out on a separate lounger across from chris and eddie, and mark arm leaned up against the mini-fridge. dan and steve, the remaining members of mudhoney, were nowhere to be seen. chris had definitely had a few too many, but mark and eddie weren’t exactly sober either. </p><p>“we sho-should go back out there, gas huffer's playin…” mark trailed off, taking another heavy sip of his beer. it must’ve been his fifth or sixth, but who was counting anyways. chris nodded, his hand still holding the beer as he pointed at mark, “great fuckin idea.” </p><p>the three ended up against the bar at the back of the venue, which was surprisingly still filled to the brim. eddie felt like he was buzzing, this must’ve been his sixth concert this month, he was on vacation with his beloved boyfriend, he finally had a band that he truly grooved with, everything felt like heaven. </p><p>“i’m gonna go to the bathroom,” chris spoke, his lips brushing against eddie’s ear so he could hear him over the music. “okay babe,” eddie responded, and gave chris a quick kiss on the lips before the brunette wandered off to maneuver through the heavy crowd. </p><p>eddie turned to face mark, resuming in their conversation from before. it wasn’t much, just mark slurring over the music with some story eddie could only half understand. </p><p>a hand harshly tapped on his shoulder out of nowhere, and eddie’s head snapped to look at who it was. an insanely tall black haired man stood beside him, clearly drunk out of his mind. “h- hey shhh… shortstack, don’t i know y- you?” eddie’s eyebrows furrowed and he glanced over to mark for help, but the singer was still rambling to himself thinking eddie was listening. </p><p>eddie’d sobered up a little at how uncomfortably close the stranger was. “no, i don’t think so,” eddie responded, stepping back a foot or so but his back came in contact with the bar before he could step back any further. “i think we h- have, i’d remember a cute face like yours,” the person slurred, stepping even closer. </p><p>eddie’s eyes glanced behind the person, hoping chris would appear so he could avoid this increasingly uncomfortable conversation. “are you fffucking ignoring me?” the man questioned, now close enough that eddie could smell the alcohol on him. “why don’t you go for some fresh air outside man, sober up a bit,” eddie spoke, trying to suck up the nervousness of the man that seemed to be nearly a foot taller than him and was cornering him against the bar.</p><p>the comment seemed to only have pissed off the stranger more, but someone cut him off before he could respond. “everything ok ed?” chris furrowed his brows, his arm slipping around the back of eddie as he glared questioningly at the stranger that nearly had him pinned to the bar. the drunk glared right back, “who the fuck’re you? he’s just fine, asshole. mind your b- business.” chris sighed, the last thing he wanted in their last night in san diego was to argue with some shitty drunk who didn’t know his boundaries. </p><p>“fuck off, i’m his boyfriend,” chris was hellbent on trying to keep his words from slurring, but the beers were still heavy in his system. eddie’s face was red from embarrassment, a few people had even turned around at how loud chris was. the other man stepped up to chris, yelling back in his face. he had to have been at least two inches taller than chris, and considerably more muscular. </p><p>eddie’s heart sped up a bit, “baby, leave it, let’s just go home.” he tugged on the sleeve of chris’ leather jacket, but the singer paid him no attention. mark had even finally caught onto the situation, and was drunkenly pulling at chris’ shoulder to get him to back off. chris pushed mark off him a little, not even moving his eyes from the black-haired stranger. </p><p>chris shoved the man back a foot or two, and eddie began to panic. “chris fucking knock it off, i want to leave,” the smaller man pulled back on chris forcefully. the brunette finally spun around, an aggravated expression on his face. his expression softened, but the drunk stranger’s fist collided with chris’ cheek before he could respond. </p><p>chris was knocked back a few steps, but the punch wasn’t incredibly strong considering the offender was shitfaced drunk. eddie was shocked, frozen in his steps for a moment. but mark jumped in, pulling chris back towards the hallway to go backstage. </p><p>chris stumbled for a moment as he was dragged towards the backstage area, his hand held against his aching cheek. eddie followed after the pair, and around ten minutes later they ended up sat in chris’ truck without mark. </p><p>“i can’t drive us home, i’m not sober,” eddie mumbled, running his hand over his forehead. chris grumbled something under his breath, his eyebrows were furrowed and his hand was still held against his face. </p><p>“come here,” eddie sighed, walking around the other side of the car to help chris out. chris fumbled a little before finally sitting on the curb in front of their car. his expression was softened, an almost kicked puppy look. a lurid bruise was spreading across his cheekbone, and the shorter man squatted down in front of him to assess it. “stay here, i’ll go get you some ice,” eddie whispered, his thumb grazing over the bruise. chris looked hesitant but just nodded, his lips bit inwards awkwardly. </p><p>the brunette returned a moment later, a sopping paper towel full of ice in his hand. “thanks,” chris muttered in response, holding it up against his face. it was oddly quiet outside, just the silent whirring of nearby cars and the muffled music from the venue behind them. the door backstage opened and closed occasionally, just strangers coming outside for a smoke or to escape the achingly loud noise inside. </p><p>eddie’s arm slipped around the other man’s shoulders. chris leaned his head against eddie, “i’m sorry.” eddie hesitated for a moment, looking out towards the street. he kissed the top of chris’ head, “its okay, i know.”</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. burn a hole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris groaned as he dropped his suitcase at the front door, eddie in tow. It was nearly two in the morning, and chris felt like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. they’d been driving for two days, including a small stop in oregon to stay the night. they’d arrived so late in the day that chris didn’t even suggest walking around the city for a drink like he’d planned on.</p><p>they didn’t leave oregon till late, and the six hour drive was practically unbearable. traffic was bumper to bumper, lined down the freeway. eddie nearly cried in happiness when they finally pulled up to the small apartment building. they decided to return to chris’ place instead since it was easiest, and finally they were home comfortably in chris’ bedroom.</p><p>eddie whimpered as he dropped onto the mattress, landing face first onto the sheets. chris chuckled and sat down beside him, kicking off his boots and clothes. </p><p>“you asleep already, babe?” chris whispered as he tugged the blankets over eddie. the smaller singer grunted, “mmph.” a small smile crossed chris’ lips as he flicked the light off. eddie instinctively pulled himself in closer to chris. his arm wrapped around the others waist and his head on his chest, the soft rising and falling of chris’ rhythmic breathing lulling him to sleep.</p><p>chris’ entire chest felt warm, overwhelmingly filled with thoughts of how content he was. eddie’d truly saved him without ever meaning to. chris felt like the luckiest man on earth, especially when his eyes trailed down eddie’s soft features reflected in the streetlights outside the window. </p><p>the bedroom had gone stale from disuse, so the window was slightly cracked. the freezing air of seattle fanned over chris’ face, and not before long he was asleep.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>the next day was fairly uneventful, just a boring sunday. they hadn’t stayed in san diego a full seven days technically since new years was on a tuesday. chris knew he had to definitely push into overtime on the extra shifts at the restaurant tomorrow, same with eddie at the record store, so the pair decided to make the best of their last vacation day. </p><p>eddie slept in till noon, finally woken up by the sound of laughter from the living room. he rubbed his eyes and pushed the sheets away, and an involuntary shiver creeped up his spine at the cold of the bedroom. his head felt like it was pulsating and his throat was dry, but he brushed the feeling off as just dehydration. he tugged a shirt off a hanger in chris’ closet and pulled it on before walking off towards the living room.</p><p>chris was sat on the couch, legs crossed and a beer in his hand. kim thayil was beside him, and jeff ament across. the bassist had a guitar in his lap, and a goofy smile underneath his familiar colorful hat.</p><p>chris’ smile returned as he glanced over at eddies sleepy figure in the doorway. “hey doll, wanna come sit down?” chris patted the spot beside him. eddies smiled awkwardly at the guests and sat down beside chris.</p><p>they all talked for a bit, huddled in the small living room around chris’ two-pixel tv. eddie was quiet, still noticeably sleepy and incessantly rubbing his eyes to wake himself up. it was around two more hours before the guests left, leaving the pair alone in the apartment once again.</p><p>“you still sleepy? i can make you some coffee if you want,” chris spoke, his gaze locked with eddies. eddies eyes were heavy lidded and slightly glazed over from all the yawning. he shrugged quietly and chris gave a sympathetic smile. “go get a blanket, i’ll shut the curtains and we can watch a movie.” </p><p>eddie returned a few minutes later with a thick fleece blanket from chris’ bed wrapped around his shoulders. chris was laid across the couch, eyes glued to ‘lost boys’ playing on the tv. eddie lazily crawled onto the couch, laying on top of ed with the blanket covering the two of them. </p><p>“why are we watching lost boys again?” eddie mumbled. chris laughed softly, “‘cause it’s a good movie, that’s why.” eddie rolled his eyes, “oh whatever, you just wanna be a vampire.” “who wouldnt? i think i’d make a pretty hot vampire,” chris’ words dripped with sarcasm and eddie just giggled in response.</p><p>it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes before eddie was asleep. chris grinned at the sight of eddie soundly napping with his head rested on his chest, lips slightly parted with soft sighs escaping them. chris of course thought it was the cutest thing ever, eddies cherub-like features and his peaceful expression as he slept.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>eddie whimpered as he woke, already feeling the intense thumping headache from earlier seep back in. chris was fast asleep beneath him and the sun had already set outside, leaving their living room pitch black. </p><p>he pushed himself off chris carefully and blindly tip-toed towards the kitchen. he poured himself a glass of water and drank it deftly, but the headache seemed to persist no matter how much he chugged. </p><p>he rummaged through the bathroom cabinets for some sort of pain reliever, but all he found were empty prescriptions and untouched hygiene products. eddie shook his head and walked off to the bedroom to search for a clean pair of pants and a jacket. </p><p>he figured there was no harm in driving down the street to pick up some food for dinner and pain killers so he could start their meal before chris woke. his car was still parked out front from the new year’s eve, so he’d leave a note on the fridge just in case he was gone longer than expected.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>seattle was a bit eerie at night, especially on a sunday when the streets were empty. still eddie enjoyed the ride, with the soft buzz of the radio and the whizzing of trees passing by. it was refreshing to be out alone for a bit as well, not that he didn’t love his time with chris or friends. </p><p>he pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and locked the car up before heading inside.</p><p>the bright lights stung his eyes as he walked in, forcing him to squint until they readjusted. it reminded him of chris tugging him into that gas station so many months ago to retrieve slurpees at god only knows what hour. the thought brought a smile to eddie’s face, that’d easily been one of the best moments in his life. who would’ve known he’d get this serious with the pretty boy from the bar who seemed way too good for him.</p><p>the brunette searched for the medicine aisle and retrieved what he needed for dinner before checking out, and heading back to his car. </p><p>he tossed his items in the passenger seat and began to head back to chris’ apartment. </p><p>he pulled up to a stop sign, waiting patiently for the light to turn green. eddie’s boot pressed on the gas pedal as the light turned green, but one stray car pushed to run the red light from the opposite direction. </p><p>the green bronco collided with the drivers side door, sending eddies tires skidding against the slick pavement. it was achingly loud, deafening to the point where eddie couldn’t tell what was going on. the glass from his window shattered across the street and the cars beside them all halted to a stop at the sight.</p><p>the airbag deployed in his face, smothering him, and the once clean smelling air was filled with a putrid smoke. eddies body was jolted to the side, the seatbelt harshly tugging him back to the point where he felt it burn at his skin. it was all so quick he couldn’t tell what had happened till the raucous noise died away and he was left disoriented and dizzy in an uncomfortable silence. </p><p>his nose burned and his face was scrunched with confusion at the unfamiliar feeling of something wet dripping down his forehead. eddies ears rung like they had a million times after concerts, only this time much more intense and reverberant. </p><p>the intense pain kicked in and he could barely focus on whoever’s muffled voice was yelling through his shattered window as his vision blurred.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>eek sorry this took fucking ages. school started back up again and i haven’t really had time to write. hope the ending wasn’t totally cliche, my brains currently completely stripped of writing ideas so :)</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. thirsty and miserable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this chapters incredibly short and more so a filler, i promise it’ll be more exciting in the next one. school’s started up again and it’s kicking my ass so i apologize for such a late update.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chris ground the toe of his boot against the vinyl flooring of the hospital, listening to the pestiferous squeaking over the sound of the heart monitor. his eyes were glazed over in a dead stare, and his hands lay limp in his lap. </p><p>eddie was sleeping soundly in his bed, his left leg wrapped in bandages across the entire shin. it must’ve been six in the morning by now, and they’d been sitting in the room for hours. </p><p>eddie’d fractured his tibia, the bone going down his shin. the rest of his injuries weren’t as bad, just some cuts and scrapes along his arm and forehead. </p><p>chris didn’t make it to the hospital till nearly one in the morning, and only because of panicking after eddie never came home. he’d contacted nearly half of the seattle music scene before jeff had talked him into calling the local hospitals just in case. </p><p>so now he was sat in the nauseatingly sanitized hospital room, on his second cup of coffee, waiting for eddie to wake up. the entire place made chris anxious, he hadn’t been since andy’s passing. it was always disgustingly clean, reeking of bleach and filled with the sounds of sickly people on their last legs. needless to say, his past experiences with hospitals had been anything but positive.</p><p>they had to wait until the swelling went down in eddies leg to put it in a cast, meaning they’d be stuck in the hospital for at least another four days. eddie hadn’t woken up since he was knocked out from the crash, but the doctor said it was drug-induced and that he would he up soon. </p><p>chris groaned to himself at the thought of all the legal bullshit he’d have to deal with once eddie woke up, but he tried his best to just focus on the brunette in front of him for now. </p><p> </p><p>chris rubbed his eyes relentlessly, but they still watered with sleep no matter what he did. he couldn’t stay awake much longer after, and ended up sleeping strained in the small armchair.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>chris woke to the sound of a raspy voice croaking his name quietly. his eyebrows furrowed till he saw eddie poorly trying to sit up. </p><p>chris sprang out of his seat, unsure of what to do, and called for the nurse as he rushed over to eddie.  </p><p>chris sat on the edge of the bed next to him, paper cup full of water from the hospital cafeteria in hand. he offered the drink to eddie who carefully sat up, wincing as chris tried to help him upright. </p><p>he sipped it slowly and chris brushed the hair away from his face. “how’re you feeling?” chris asked, oblivious to the nurse standing at the doorway awkwardly.  eddie meekly shrugged. he wanted to respond, say how glad he was that chris was here, but nothing came out. his throat was painfully dry, and his entire leg was aching with dull pain. his head still felt fuzzy, and the skin on his forehead along his cut had begun to itch. </p><p>in truth he wanted to go home, lay in bed and sleep off whatever the hell just happened, but broken bones don’t exactly heal that way. the nurse had begun to ramble questions about how he was feeling, if he remembered anything, some other useless things eddie could barely pay attention to. </p><p>his mind wandered off per usual. he couldn’t help but hope the other person in the crash was alright, he knew someone would never do something like that intentionally anyways. we all make mistakes. </p><p>the nurse promised once they get a cast on, he could head home and his injury would likely heal just in time for mookie’s first tour. eddie sighed in relief, he hadn’t even worried about the tour till the woman mentioned it would be six months to fully heal. the nurse left the room, and he and chris were alone again.</p><p>“i guess no more hiking for a while, huh?” chris attempted to lighten up the mood, running his thumb over the back of eddie’s hand. they’d grown quite the routine of hiking since november, and eddie cherished every second of stumbling and wandering around out in the forest with chris. they hadn’t been in a few weeks since before their trip from san diego and were planning on going back out soon, but it seemed fate had other plans for the pair.</p><p>eddie’s brow furrowed and his eyes shut as he dropped his head back onto his pillow. they’d been home for what? twenty four hours? he was beginning to swear seattle was just bad luck. </p><p>“you okay?” chris muttered, eddie was acting more off than he had expected. eddie’s eyes still remained closed, “yeah. yeah, i’m fine, my leg’s basically fuckin’ numb.” chris cracked a small smirk. “not your leg, are <em>you</em> okay? i mean you just got in a fucking car crash, ed.” the other man’s eyes finally opened, his lips curling slightly at the ends. “i will be.” </p><p>the two idly chatted for a while, mainly chris telling random stories to keep him entertained. “i got hit by a car in front of a fire station once,” chris spoke, a slight lilt to his voice as he slouched down in his chair and kicked up his feet on eddies bed. “what? when?” eddie looked like he wanted to laugh purely at chris’ facial expression. “i must’ve been around eight, and the police didn’t show up for like an hour. bullshit right? you’d think since i was directly across the street someone from the station would’ve helped, but nope.” </p><p>eddie smirked at the thought of an adorable little tiny version of chris with a head of curly hair and some early seventies clothes. of course the car crash wasn’t exactly something to giggle about, but chris as a kid must’ve been the cutest thing. </p><p>chris ate some subpar hospital food while laughing over stupid stories till someone lightly knocked at the room’s door. </p><p>kim, matt, <em>even ben</em>, and the rest of pearl jam flooded into the small hospital room. eddie smiled and cautiously hugged everyone from his spot on the bed. </p><p>eddie was glad to see everyone even though he was exhausted and in pain, but having some sense of normalcy was nice for a few hours nonetheless.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter will be written sooner and way more fuckin interesting i swear :’) thanks for still reading im not giving up on this story just yet school’s just too much right now</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. let’s go get lost right here in the usa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the sun had yet to rise, leaving the sky a hazy grey. it was the first day of the bands tour under their new name, ‘pearl jam’. eddie was currently hobbling down the steps of chris’ apartment to shove his belongings into the back of a worn down van, along with stone and jeff who lived just across the courtyard.</p><p>things had changed somewhat dramatically in the last six months. eddie’d packed up and left his shitty little apartment not too long ago and moved in with chris, and finally quit his job at the record store due to the broken leg and the fact that he’d be touring soon. </p><p>they’d canceled an entire set of dates in february that chris had gotten them with alice in chains, but it was inevitable anyways. eddie only got his cast taken off about five weeks ago, meaning his doctor chastised him relentlessly for still choosing to tour so soon, but there was no way they could cancel more dates. </p><p>so here they were packing a rickety van to drive cross-country to boston. chris had even promised he’d tag along since it was only five shows and he didn’t go out on tour till december. </p><p>only lord knows why they’d decided to leave before the sun had even risen considering they’d be driving for likely the next four days, but eddie’d never turn down the opportunity to watch the sunrise even if it was from a shitty van.</p><p>they took a second van filled with all the equipment, which chris had just so offered to drive for them so they wouldn’t have to hire someone to do it since stone and dave refused to. mike was too busy being a human directory for jeff in the passenger seat anyways. </p><p>eddie rode with chris unsurprisingly, and jeff and mike said they’d switch to drive the cargo once they stopped for the night. they were planning on stopping about fourteen hours in anyways, so hopefully not too late in the day to get a room. </p><p>“you’re not gonna throw up again are you?” chris teased, nudging eddie’s knee with his hand. eddie rolled his eyes, “no, no ‘course not. this time if i get nauseous i’ll just spew all over your new shorts.” chris scoffed with a laugh and softly pushed eddie, making the smaller man go into a laughing fit.</p><p>“i brought cassettes so we don’t have to listen to shitty midwest radio,” eddie muttered, tugging a small hard suitcase from behind chris’ seat.  “please tell me you brought that mixtape i gave you,” the driver spoke, glancing over at the stack of what must’ve been twenty cassettes. “you gave me that thing on like our third date, i can’t believe you remember it.” </p><p>“aw c’mon, of course i do,” chris said as he blindly reached over and pulled out a cassette. across the front was scribbled ‘lullabies for losers’. the track list on the back was so smudged eddie couldn’t read it anymore, and the case was decorated in sharpie scribbles.</p><p>eddie put it into the stereo and waited quietly for it to start. suddenly some light muffled sounds came from the cassette and eddie was worried, till he heard an all-too-familiar voice begin to speak. “h- hey eddie, this is probably the most fuckin’ cheesy thing i’ve ever done for someone, but i guess you just make me feel like embarrassing myself. kidding. enjoy.” eddie chuckled, he hadn’t listened to this tape and definitely didn’t remember what was on it. “man you’re such a sap,” eddie joked, shoving chris by his shoulder who laughed in return.</p><p>‘monkey gone to heaven’ by the pixies began to blare, and a smile crossed eddies face. everything felt far too perfect. the slow drive on their way out of seattle, one of eddies favorite albums of all time playing, and the man he was head over heels in love with in the drivers seat. he could only hope the rest of the drive was this easy.</p><hr class="hr"/><p>the van shuddered as it turned off, and chris deftly hopped out to stretch. it must’ve been around nine pm in the new time zone, only an hour later, and they were currently stopped in front of a shitty motel in the middle of nowhere. </p><p>eddie was exhausted, he’d slept restlessly for a few hours of the drive, but powered through to keep chris awake the rest of the way. they stopped for lunch hours and hours ago, so everyone was loudly complaining about how hungry they were. </p><p>chris kissed eddies forehead and walked into the motel lobby to hopefully rent them a few rooms. </p><p>“i’m surprised chris didn’t fall asleep at the wheel,” mike joked, nodding his head towards the tall brunette conversating with an elder woman at the front desk. “he asked me to slap him to keep him awake earlier,” eddie chuckled, pulling his pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. “stone made us listen to paula abdul the whole way because he swore he only brought the tape to blast so we’d stay awake,” mike responded, running a hand through his thin hair as he glanced over at stone and jeff leaned against the side of their van chatting. dave was sat on the curb of the parking lot puffing on a cigarette like he was about to tear his hair out.</p><p>just as eddie was going to bring up the drummers obvious annoyance, chris walked back out. “good and bad news, there’s a diner open down the street, bad news, they only have one room available right now.” dave sighed loudly but the rest of the band shrugged. “we can stuff into one room for the night, there’s two beds anyways right?” jeff spoke, standing up from his spot by the van. “yeah, yeah she said there’s a couch too so maybe if we squeeze,” chris spoke, snagging the lit cigarette from eddies lips to take a drag. </p><p>“alright, let’s load our stuff into the room and then go check out that diner.”</p><hr class="hr"/><p>chatter outside the bathroom seemed to seep through the walls, killing the peace and quiet eddie was dying for. dave was in some shitty mood and wouldn’t stop butting heads with stone, and of course chris tried to play mediator per usual making dave retort with some back-handed comment about how chris should bsck off because he was only here for his boyfriend anyways. nonetheless the tour was off to a great start, at least dinner wasn’t tense.</p><p>eddie finally undressed and got into the hot shower, letting the water slide down his body. there was a soft knock at the door and it slid open after a moment. eddie peeped through the curtain to see who it was, to be met with a face he couldn’t have been more glad to see.</p><p>“hey doll, you alright? you’ve been in here for a while and it reeks of cigarettes,” chris questioned with a small laugh, looking over at the long haired brunette face softly staring back at him. “yeah, i’m alright. just don’t know what’s up with dave, he’s never really been like this.” chris hesitated for a moment before beginning to pull his shirt off, along with the rest of his clothes. he shrugged as he kicked his boxers across the tiny bathroom. </p><p>“he’s probably just annoyed and tired of being cooped up, being in that car with the rest of the band must’ve been irritating,” chris responded, stepping carefully into the shower with eddie. the smaller singer nodded slowly, his face looking like he was deep in thought. “you’re probably right.” </p><p>chris grinned in response and wrapped his arms around eddies neck till they were chest to chest. “did you just invite yourself in?” eddie giggled, not even realizing till then that chris had never even asked to get in the shower with him. “mmph, maybe,” the taller singer responded, brushing eddies soaked hair away from his face. his lips landed on his jaw and trailed down to eddies neck, beginning to suck softly at the skin. “we can’t, the walls are paper thin and someone might have to use the bathroom,” eddie spoke, but chris didn’t stop. </p><p>“whatever, they didn’t see me walk in here anyways.” eddie scoffed at the comment as chris’ hands began to run up the back of eddies thighs. “cause it’ll totally make sense if we both disappear and the bathroom doors locked.” chris didn’t respond, just continued to trail his lips lower. a small gasp escaped eddies lips and he finally nudged chris off him, “c-chris knock it off, we’ll have our own room in like three days.” chris jokingly rolled his eyes, “alright, alright, fine.” </p><p>the pair finished their shower not much later and cuddled up close in the small motel bed, which they were lucky enough to have to themselves considering mike and dave were squished like hell on the couch. </p><p>“i really appreciate you coming with us,” eddie muttered, just loud enough for chris to hear over jeff’s snoring. chris smiled in the dim room and leaned forwards, pressing his lips against eddies. eddie kissed back like it was second nature to him, hand threading through the thick hair along the nape of chris’ neck. </p><p>chris deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into eddies mouth as the brunette pressed closer against him. eddie wasn’t even sure what the hell they were doing, his band mates were all within six feet and chris wasn’t exactly <em>quiet.</em> </p><p>something flew at the pair, landing hard on eddies leg. “sstop fuckin’ making out!” dave slurred tiredly, and rolled back over on the couch. eddie separated from chris with a stifled laugh and picked up whatever landed on the bed. “he threw his fucking shoe,” eddie whispered, picking up the black sneaker and tossing it back on the floor. chris giggled quietly and pulled eddie back down to lay beside him.</p><p>“well, i guess we should sleep then,” chris murmured, his arm wrapped around eddies waist. eddie let out a small “mhm” and closed his eyes, smiling as chris kissed his nose and wished him goodnight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. been trying to meet you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“chris, cough up the change dumbass,” kim chuckled, watching the singer fumble through his pockets, pulling up nothing but lint, gum wrappers, and a lighter. “...i lost my wallet.” kim laughed sarcastically, “...you’re kidding right?” chris furrowed his brows, “no, fuck. maybe it’s just in the bus hold on.” </p>
<p>the singer hopped up the steps, rabidly lifting up jackets and bags in search of his shitty duct tape wallet full of his prized posessions, including some photos of his partner that he’d prefer not to get lost or somehow end up released somewhere. </p>
<p>they were stuck somewhere between philadelphia and florida, a tiny desolate gas station in the midst of december. summer went by in seconds, and now eddie was half across the united states. meaning chris was stuck with shitty phone calls full of dramatic fake kissing noises in the background from stone and jeff, and usually an ungodly loud snoring kim. </p>
<p>chris was tired, tour felt like a chore considering the only ‘fun’ part lasted a few hours maximum. the band was off till the the 28th, but eddie was stuck in shitty old utah. “who the fuck lives in utah?” had become a favorite phrase for the spitfire brunette. he'd had to insist a million times that chris missing his birthday wasn’t a huge deal, but that didn’t stop him from feeling just as guilty. chris pushed a million times to find a way to convince the band to drive 30-something hours from philadelphia and back down to florida, but the fact that they were scrounging up change for gas already said enough. </p>
<p>so chris was stranded at a gas station payphone, sticking in whatever coins he had leftover in his jeans to dial a utah hotel number he could only pray would pick up. it rung for a few moments and chris glanced at his watch, he normally would’ve been done with the show by then. </p>
<p>“hello?” eddie’s gravelly voice spoke into the phone, choking into a coughing fit for a few seconds before putting the receiver back to his ear. “hey short stack,” chris smiled faintly, watching his bandmates laugh and throw something he couldn’t quite make out. “chris! what're you doing up?” eddie stiffly cleared his throat again. “stuck at a gas station with the three stooges. misplaced my wallet so i suppose we’re taking a pit stop.” eddie giggled, rubbing the crease in his forehead tiredly. </p>
<p>“i miss you,” the younger man responded, letting his head fall back on the pillow. chris scoffed, “i miss you too...” chris went silent for a moment, “s-sorry i feel like i’ve forgotten how to interact with people other than the guys now, all i know is small talk and stupid generic answers for interviewers.” “don’t worry about it babe, believe me i’m just as tired.” </p>
<p>chris mindlessly gnawed on the inside of his lip, “alright, i’ll let you go back to sleep. g’night hot stuff, love ya.” eddie let out a nose breath of suppressed laughter, “love you too.” chris smiled and hung up the phone, walking back to the bus.</p>
<hr class="hr"/>
<p>chris winced as kim smacked his face lightly, shocking him awake from his dream. </p>
<p>“wake up meathead, we have a surprise for you.” chris groaned and smacked kim’s hand away. “fuck off, i’m not falling for your shit again we don’t have a show tonight,” the singer swatted away his bandmate tugging off the comforter on his hotel bed. </p>
<p>“you do, you’re gonna miss your flight.” chris sat up abruptly. “fuck, what? i thought we were driving the rest of the way to florida.” matt laughed across the room. “we bought you a ticket to go see your lover boy for his birthday.” chris laughed, “bullshit.” kim scoffed and slapped a piece of paper on chris’ chest. the singer squinted, reading the paper and cracking a huge smile. </p>
<p>“god i can’t fuckin’ believe you guys.” “have fun, tell ‘em we said hi,” kim walked back to his bed, flopping back beside ben and lighting a cigarette. chris chuckled, “i’m paying you all back for this though.” kim just laughed, “yeah right leave before we call and tell him you rub one out to his photos in the bathroom.” chris sputtered out a laugh, and launched a remote at the guitarist’s head who just chuckled in response.</p>
<hr class="hr"/>
<p>chris rubbed his eyes tiredly, his legs feeling stiff from the five hour flight and other hour of waiting to load off the plane. he hauled a cab to take him off to the hotel pearl jam was staying at. it must’ve been around four or five in the afternoon, and chris was stuck in the hotel lobby giving random names hoping one of them would ring up the guys’ room.</p>
<p>the hotel was minuscule, run down with the faint smell of moth balls and dusty furniture that had been sitting for twenty years. the receptionist seemed irritated just by chris’ existence, making him repeat his name for what seemed like a billion times.</p>
<p>“...chris?” a familiar voice called out, and chris spun around with a relieved smile. “oh thank fuck, stone!” the guitarist brought him in for a hug. “what’re you doing here?” “i’m off until a few days after christmas. the… the guys surprised me with tickets to come see you to celebrate eddies birthday.” stone grinned and led him down the hallway, “he’s gonna be excited, our birthday plan was getting some animal beer and smashing cake in his face.”  the taller brunette laughed, “we’re definitely still doing that.”</p>
<p>chris lugged his backpack with him, waiting patiently as stone unlocked the bands’ room. “d’you uhm... do you want to go straight to eddies room? he’s asleep i think but he’d definitely want to see you.” chris nodded, “yeah sure”, then knocked on ed’s door.</p>
<p>“i’m trying to sleep asshole!” a groggy voice called out and chris chuckled. “not the sweet greeting i was hoping for,” he yelled back through the door. there was some rustling before the locks of the door slid open, revealing a half-asleep, bed-head eddie. </p>
<p>eddie didn’t say a word, just broke into the brightest smile and immediately lunged into chris. “i missed you dumbass.” the taller man smirked, holding him tight, “missed you too, my vertically-challenged boyfriend.” chris pecked him on the lips and eddie rolled his eyes, “you just got here and you’re already bringing back the height jokes?” “awww what, i thought you liked ‘em,” chris quirked an eyebrow, running his hand through the smaller mans tangled curls. eddie scoffed, “the ‘eddies short’ punchline is overused- mike’s almost the same height as me but nobodys ever fuckin’ with him!” “you’re just an easy target, ed.” eddie shoved the singer’s shoulder, “it’s like you’re begging to sleep on the couch.” “yikes, sounds better than sleeping with your gorilla grip- you nearly choked me out last time we shared a bed.” “like you even remember last time, we’ve been on tour for months,” eddie rolled his eyes and let chris in finally. </p>
<p>the room was shabby, sun-faded blackout curtains hung over the window and eddie’s things strewn everywhere. how the hell he managed to get his own room, chris had zero idea. it was significantly smaller than where the guys were staying, almost as if the dimensions for the room had been cut in half. chris tossed his bag aside, sitting back on the bed and unlacing his boots.</p>
<p>“you reek,” eddie chuckled and laid next to chris, lit cigarette now in his hand. chris rolled over to face eddie while fighting back a laugh, “you should give me a sponge bath.” eddie sputtered up smoke, busting into laughter. “i’ll give you a sponge bath if you change my bed pan.” chris took the cigarette from eddie with a giggle, “why empty your bed pan when you can drink the piss and save a trip to the bathroom entirely!” eddie gagged and shoved chris’ shoulder, “you’re fuckin’ disgusting- what shit do you think about to come up with jokes like that?” chris chuckled, “i'm a philosopher, these are revolutionary ideas eddie. you’re witnessing genius in real time.”</p>
<p>the shorter singer laughed, “can’t wait for the day every hospital starts following the piss-drinking method.” chris laughed and pulled himself out of bed, “alright i smell like an airplane bathroom i’ll be back.” eddie smiled as chris walked off to the bathroom, “have fun.” chris shot back a weird smile over his shoulder and eddie cackled.</p>
<hr class="hr"/>
<p>“so how bad have you missed my sweet ass?” chris flopped back on the bed, a smirk on his face. eddie laughed, “not that much. seen sweeter asses in my day.” chris faked shock, promptly tugging the sheets from eddie. the brunette giggled and pulled the blanket back, leading chris to topple over him. </p>
<p>chris pulled a familiar face, his hands slowly creeping down to eddies bare sides. “chris don’t do it i know that look...” the other man smirked and began mercilessly tickling eddie, laughing maniacally as he did so. “y- yOu always do this!” eddie sputtered out between breathless laughs, trying desperately to kick off chris. chris just laughed in response, finally backing off after a few minutes. the room went quiet, leaving them regaining their breath and softly smiling.</p>
<p>they made eye contact for a moment and chris closed the space between them. their lips connected, his hand instinctively pulling eddie in tighter. the singer wrapped his arms around chris’ neck as he slowly rolled over, chris now between his legs. eddie’s brow furrowed and he rolled them over, straddling him. chris quirked an eyebrow, “i was starting to think we’d be stuck in missionary forever.” eddie scoffed and leaned back in, “stop talking you’re gonna ruin it.” chris smirked into the kiss, “yes sir.” </p>
<p>eddie slipped his tongue into the kiss, chris’ chapped lips parting with a sigh. the shorter man’s hips began to rock, and the friction of his thin basketball shorts against chris’ boxers made him stutter. chris broke the kiss with a restrained grunt, his hands traveling up eddie’s bare chest. eddie’s grinding sped up and soft sighs escaped his lips. chris’ thumb brushed over his nipple, his other hand guiding ed’s hip. </p>
<p>chris pulled him off abruptly and fumbled with the waistband of his bottoms, “let me get these off of you.” the brunette sat awkwardly with anticipation as chris tugged at his shorts, finally sliding them off after a few moments. the tent in his boxers made chris smirk proudly, to which eddie only blushed worse. no matter how many times its been, chris absolutely hadn’t lost his smart-ass attitude. </p>
<p>he leaned back down for a kiss and slid off both their boxers with it, eddie’s hard-on uncomfortably pressing at his stomach. “uh- uhm chris... c’mon,” the brunette whimpered and the other man laughed, “fine. i’m choosing which position though.” eddie glared and chris chuckled, rolling eddie to face away from him on his side. “what're you- oh.” eddie paused as chris’ pressed up behind him, knees nudged between his legs to keep them separate. </p>
<p>eddie mindlessly bit the inside of his lip as he listened to chris pull away for a second and start rummaging through the nightstand. “...are you okay with this? we can go back to the other position,” chris muttered as he rolled back over, chest pressed to eddies back. eddie  shook his head no, positioning his body to twist so he could face chris more.</p>
<p>the taller man smiled softly, his slick hand traveling further down between them as he leaned in for a kiss. eddie winced as chris pushed a finger past his entrance, lips moving adamantly against his. chris’ knee pushed up his legs further, settling between eddie’s thighs for easier access. the smaller brunette let out soft gasps as he leaned more into chris. </p>
<p>chris trailed his lips down the side of eddies neck, sucking softly and continuing his movements. “...chris,” he sighed, his hips pushing back against chris’ hand. eddies moans picked up, thighs tensing against chris’ leg. </p>
<p>they continued for a few minutes until chris reached between them again, pulling his fingers out and repositioning himself till his member pressed against him. he slowly pushed in, feeling eddie’s back tense against him. chris’ hand hooked around the inside of eddies thigh, giving him more room to move. eddie whimpered, eyes squeezed shut and his hand tight with a fistful of the bedsheets. </p>
<p>“y’okay?” chris spoke, hips slowly beginning to rock as eddie relaxed into him slightly. the smaller man nodded, his breath hitching in his throat. another minute or two later chris finally began to pick up a pace, his hand traveling from eddies thigh to his lower stomach. “f- fuck,” eddie gasped, his back arching as chris’ skin brushed against his neglected hard-on.</p>
<p>chris sped up, adjusting his movements a little in search of the spot that made eddie’s heart drop. he let out a breathy laugh as eddie’s hips stuttered, a much louder moan escaping his lips as chris thrusted. chris fully wrapped his hand around eddie’s member, sliding it in time with his thrusts till eddie was a sputtering mess.</p>
<p>“fuck... please i’m so close,” eddie’s face scrunched up, his eyes screwed tight. chris rolled eddie onto his stomach, pulling up his hips till his face was on the pillow and his ass in the air and continued thrusting. “f-faster,” eddie whined. chris gripped him by the hip with one hand, the other moving till eddie’s body tensed. eddie let out a shaky moan of chris’ name and spilled onto the other man’s hand and the bedsheets. </p>
<p>chris pulled his covered hand away and continued thrusting as eddie panted against the pillow. his sweat-dampened hair clung to his neck uncomfortably. chris bit his bottom lip as he got closer, the familiar feeling bubbling up in his stomach as he snapped his hips quicker. his thrusts lost their rhythm as he came, doubling over eddie.</p>
<p>they sat regaining their breath for a few moments before chris pulled out and rolled over. eddie relaxed into the bed and turned to face him as well, then scooted closer till he was in chris’ arms. a kiss ensued for a few moments, chris sucking softly at eddies tongue and biting at his bottom lip. </p>
<p>eddie pulled chris in tighter, legs tangled together and his nose buried in the crook of his neck. chris smiled softly and brushed eddie’s damp curls away from his face. </p>
<p>“this would be way more romantic if the sheets weren’t sticky right now,” chris whispered and eddie let out a muffled breathy laugh. “shhh we don’t have a change of sheets anyways.” chris quirked a brow as he ran his hand along eddies back. “that sponge bath would come in clutch right now.” eddie laughed again and nuzzled closer, “my foot is dangerously close to your nuts right now, i don’t know if i’d say that if i were you.” chris giggles, “okay, okay sorry.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry it’s been a good few months since i updated and i’m honestly still not super happy with this one. i meant to post this a few days ago so i could write eddies birthday and christmas etc since it’s currently december, but my motivation to write is practically nonexistent so enjoy the smut LMFAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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